You know that creepy clowns have gone mainstream when NPR is writing articles about them. We have always known that clowns were ghoulish, but now they seem to be everywhere. If you don’t believe me, here’s Coulrophobics Beware: America’s Creepy Clown Problem Continues.
There you are in your pirate costume, with your plastic sword and up pops a terrifying clown! What do you do? Here are some ideas.
Use Confetti
You’ve heard of fighting fire with fire, but what about fighting clowns? For this battle, you’ll need pies, confetti, and squirting daisies. Anything less will not do.
Scare Them Back
Like fighting a mountain lion, you must puff yourself up and look bigger in order to fight a creepy clown. Think big shoes and droopy pants and you’ll be a winner in the FrightFest!
When you know you're going to see this meme for the next month. #PhelpsFace pic.twitter.com/N3axBEK0hI
— M.A.Larson (@M_A_Larson) August 9, 2016
Don’t Engage
Like certain presidential candidates, making eye contact could just make it worse. If you can walk on by, do so! However, if you must make eye contact, make it powerful and intimidating. Think Phelps Face!
Chain Saws
Make sure they’re the gas-powered kind. If you have to plug in your electric chain saw, you’re only going to elicit laughter. And for Krusty’s sake, practice before you use one!
The Funniest Joke in the World
If you know the Funniest Joke in the World, now would be the time to tell it. Perhaps the clown will die laughing. Use this as a last resort, though.
Run Away
This works for many people. All you need are good sneakers and the willingness to run like hell. Simple, yet effective.
Don’t Post Where You Are on Social Media
Do NOT say that you have THREE HUGE BAGS of chocolate bars and you’re out trick-or-treating and post a picture of yourself on Twitter in front of a street sign with a hashtag of #yummy.
Take a Cue from the Walking Dead
What Would Carol Do? She’s my favorite character on the Walking Dead. Put that on your bracelet or bumpersticker and then act accordingly.
Hide Under a Rainbow Wig
Realize that your fear of clowns is probably worse than the clowns themselves. As this CNN story indicates, “the easiest explanation is that there really are a bunch of creepy clowns out there hell-bent on some nefarious end. Call it Occam’s Rubber Nose.” (Hilarious, right?)
Ok. Maybe that’s not realistic.
Check the Interactive Map of America’s Creepy Clown Epidemic
Have there been many clown sightings? How many in your area? Of course, it’s 2016 and you can check the map! Yes, you can. Here is the Interactive Map of America’s Creepy Clown Epidemic. I know: whoa.
How Will You Fight Back?
Since it’s a question of not IF clowns will try to take over the country, but WHEN they’ll try to take over, how will you defend yourself?
Pinterest: 6 Steps to Going Viral
Pinterest: 6 Steps to Going Viral
You’ve been on Pinterest for awhile now, pinning like a crazy person. Your pins, or those for your new startup, get liked and occasionally repinned, but nothing has ever gotten very popular, or achieved the success you’d really like. What can you do to increase your odds of a pin going viral, being repinned, liked, and commented upon? As an example, I’d like to use a pin from my Tiny Homes board. (If you click on the picture above, you’ll see the original article).
Disclaimer: Nothing can ensure a pin going viral. Sometimes the dumbest things catch on, while your carefully crafted posts die a sad, lonely death with nary a like. This article may only increase your chances. If you really want to go viral, send $10 million in unmarked bills and I’ll see what I can do.
Click Through
If you’re repinning from someone else’s account, make sure that the pin goes somewhere. That is to say, click enough times to see where the pin leads. Make sure that the pin does not lead to a Google search, or a website where there’s no more information, or **gasp** a 404 page. My pin goes to a fabulous site with an article about downsizing for a tiny home.
Read the Article at the Pin’s Origin
For pins that include an article, read the article all the way through before you repin it. Take note of a few things about the article. The point of this is so that you have something interesting to put in the caption. For instance, is the article funny? Is it thorough? Is it peculiar? Do you like the writing style?
Recap What You Liked
In my tiny homes pin, the writer uses an example of a clown car which cracks me up. So in my caption, under the pin, I write my own mini-review of the article, telling people why they might want to read the article. And be sure to give credit where credit is due–to the original author.
Post At a Good Time
Now that’s a tiny house!
If you find an extremely good item to pin, save it for a good time. According to Social Media Examiner, pinning at different times of the night and day will help your pins be seen by local and global audiences. I like to pin on Sundays because that’s a very popular time in the U.S.; pinning at various times I’ve noticed that different people are online depending upon when I pin.
Comment on Your Own Pin and Respond to Comments
People love comments! And few people comment. So you can add comments to your own pin. And be sure to respond to any comments about the pin to keep the conversation going! This raises the popularity of the pin.
Repin Later
If your pin doesn’t catch on, you can repin the pin to the top of the board or even make it the cover pin. If there are no “likes” or repins at all, you could delete it completely and repin it at a later time. You can add more text to the caption, too (think about how you might search for such a pin yourself). You want people to be able to find your pin!
Have Your Pins Gone Viral?
Do you have any “pins gone wild,” which been repinned hundreds or thousands of times? Was that a complete surprise, or were you sure that they would be popular? One of my pins has been repinned 25 billion times! Ok, one of the previous sentences might be a slight exaggeration. Can you guess which one? As usual, leave your comments below!