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Secrets of the Social Media Circus, Part II

November 14, 2013 By 6 Comments
Secrets of the Social Media Circus, Part II

Secrets of the Social Media Circus, Part II

You may have seen my first post, Secrets of the Social Media Circus, about some of the clowns you might see around on social media. Some of those clowns escaped from that first post in their tiny cars, but I’ve managed to recapture some here. Finally! Considering that they wear such big shoes, they can run (and drive) pretty fast!

Insane Clowns

The Insane Clown is a spammer. She is responsible for those Twitter Direct Messages that say “Have you seen this bad joke about you?” with viruses in links to phishing sites. Do not let this Krazy Klown spray you with social media seltzer water. And do not lean in to smell the squirting daisy on her lapel because that water is clowntaminated. Yes, the insane clown deserves a prominent role–in the Social Media Clown Hall of Fame, that is.

Rodeo Clowns

This clown does all kinds of fancy rope tricks, and will get you roped in, too. Don’t hire these clowns to do your social media because when the bull is charging, you’ll be all alone in the middle of the ring, while your “clownpadres” hide safely in their barrels. While they’re juggling you and their other clients, one of the pins often drops…and that’s when they do their grand finale–their disappearing act. Once the circus is over, you’ll be the one following the elephants with the shovel, if you get my drift.

Harlequins

Harlequins are the predecessors of modern clowns. The translation of harlequin is “demon or hellion.” His main purpose in life is to break laws, confuse people, and do tricks. Sounds like a pretty modern clown to me! And also like a few of the clowns you could meet on any social media platform.

The Nice, Kind Clown

The Nice, Kind Clown

The Nice, Kind Clown

Haha! Fooled you–there’s no such thing! In their hearts, all clowns are evil. There’s even a special psychological term for the fear of clowns: Coulrophobia. We all knew that. Wait a minute. Do you hear that faint honking sound in the distance and the pitter-patter of giant shoes? I was only kidding! Clowns can take a joke, right? RIGHT? AAAAAAAAAGGGGHHHH!!!

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Secrets of the Social Media Circus

November 12, 2013 By 6 Comments
Social Media Clowns

Social Media Clowns

If social media is a circus, it’s populated by many types of clowns. You’ve probably run across a few of them. And if you haven’t run across any of them, maybe you are one of them. Just sayin’. Here are some of the ones I’ve seen. And by the way, this post was inspired by a tweet from Bridget Willard. Thank you Bridget!

Almost Silent Mimes

Many circus scholars would argue that the mime is not a clown at all. Au contraire, mon frere! And is it any coinkydink that the true French pronunciation of the word “mime” is meme? There’s just gotta be a clownspiracy in there somewhere unless I took a wrong turn and ended up in Clown Alley.

Do not accept balloon animals from mimes

Do not accept balloon animals from mimes

Silent clowns are clowns that you can’t really hear. They sometimes speak under their breath, but then pretend not to have said anything. They may comment on one of your Pinterest pins and mention someone else, and when asked about their comment, they don’t reply. Passive-aggression is a specialty of the Mime. Watch out for them, since they are the most difficult to “PIN” down (“get” that one?), and will always deny that they’re there. Also, don’t accept any balloon animals from them. And definitely don’t follow them on Pinterest!

Sad Clowns Say So Much

In contrast to the mime, the sad clown goes on and on. And on. They don’t care if anyone is even listening to them rant. The sad clown never shuts up in his anti-circus diatribe. If you try to talk to this lonely ringmaster, you will become a part of the sad clown’s rant, too. They can change the object of their grievance in less time than it takes to throw a pie. It’s less painful to jump off a tiny burning building through an empty stretcher or be shot out of a cannon than to listen to this rant. You’ve seen these guys overposting on Facebook, at all hours of the day and night. Do not get into the tiny car with this clown. There are already 25 other clowns in there.

Hobo Clowns

Akin to the Sad Clown, the Hobo Clown does whatever it takes to blame others for her woes so that she can avoid work and stay backstage at the circus. This sad sack believes that other clowns are to blame for her station in life. When the other clowns go out for a nutritious meal of cotton candy and Konfetti Koffee(tm), the Hobo Clown reaches down into her enormous pockets and pulls out the empty linings. Do not be tricked into paying the way for this Hobo! Unless you want to do us all a favor and buy her a one-way ticket back to Hoboken, that is.

Mean Scary Clowns

Do not get into this clown car

Do not get into this clown car

The mean scary clown might have a big, painted-on grin, but underneath beats the heart of pure evil. Maybe his wig is too tight or maybe his trick pants have a short circuit. Just because his clown tools aren’t adequate doesn’t mean he should take out his rage on others, but he does anyway because he’s evil. Do not accept a bouquet of wilted flowers from this clown. This is the clown on LinkedIn who sends you direct mail demanding help because his pants are on fire. Do not send your bank account number because this clown will steal your circus and take it to Nigeria. And that exploding cigar will take the entire clown fire brigade to extinguish.

More Clowns Are on Their Way

Clowns take a long time to go any place because they’re forever hitting each other on the head with frying pans or stopping to shop for tutus for their chihuahuas. More of them are on their way to you, so stay tuned! In the meantime, tell me what kinds you’ve seen in your social media! And do they frighten you?

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Startup Management Shuffle: 5 Ways to Survive

September 17, 2013 By 3 Comments
Management Shuffle Got You Down?

Management Shuffle Got You Down?

You just started working at a startup and you’ve already been through two CEOs, a rebranding, and three office changes. Things move fast at a startup! Maybe you already read about issues that can face startups, so you know at a high level, what the possible issues are. What can you do to survive those changes?

Hallway Talks

People won’t often commit to telling the truth online on social media or on email. The best way to get the scoop is to ask in the hallway or to grab a quick coffee. Once you ask someone face to face, you’ll have a better sense of what really happened, and be better prepared. You’ll also know who can be trusted to tell you the truth, since even small companies can be rife with politics.

Make an Organizational Chart

Chances are, if you don’t know what happened, someone else doesn’t know, either. So try making an org chart. Even if it’s just for you, it can give you a clear idea of the company hierarchy. Share it with others, and ask for their changes and clarifications. People love sharing their knowledge. I’ve found that people don’t mean to be confusing, but sometimes in their hurry to get things done, they don’t think about how their actions will affect others.

Be the One to Organize

Again, if you’re confused, others are, too. Show initiative and organize, take notes, and call for meetings to clarify what’s happening. Your language can say “I’m assuming…” so that others know that you don’t really have all the answers.

Take Notes

Hallway Talks Can Help Unravel Management Changes

Hallway Talks Can Help Unravel Management Changes

Make sure to date everything, so that later you can go back and unravel events if you need to. Meeting notes can remind you and others of what happened when and with whom. Who took that action item? Who promised to fix that bug in the software? Where’s the name of that consultant again? Put it in the notes, and create a folder of notes that everyone can access. I like to send notes to the whole team and ask them to read and make corrections.

Call for Meetings

A meeting can be just two people having coffee, or the entire team giving an update. If you set an agenda, people usually appreciate that. They may want to change it, so don’t be too attached to it.

Other Issues

There are obviously tons of other issues, but for now I’m going to get in my clown car and buzz off. Another post will follow.

What Helps You?

Have you gone through management changes at your startup? How did that feel and how did you deal with it?

 

 

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