Carol Stephen, Author at

What Happens to Your Audience When You Overshare

January 16, 2020 By Carol Stephen 2 Comments

A friend of mine, Mitch Mitchell, was talking about oversharing on his video, which got me to thinking. He mentions someone he knows on social media, who was going through a trying time in their marriage. She overshared and criticized her husband (watch the video for the details). This person then got back together with her husband, but never mentioned the drama ever again. Long story short, he has been uncomfortable ever since. Here’s the video:

Oversharing is Confusing

Now you might know someone like this. I certainly do. The person gets back together as though nothing ever happened and you’re left maybe wondering what happened. At the very least, it’s confusing. If you’re on social media and you overshare, where does that leave your audience? If you don’t explain what happened in the meantime, people are left high and dry. It’s different if you’re a marriage and family counselor using your own experiences as fodder (with everyone’s permission). But if you represent a business, your friends and potential clients can be both confused and upset.

Oversharing Can Be Dangerous

If you’re sharing details about something you’re going through like a divorce, where emotions run high, you could end up putting yourself or your family in danger. And if you discuss your own children, that could also put them in danger. For instance, some people talk about problems they’re having with day care, or specific times they pick up their kids. Do you really want to put your kids in danger? Or tell people when your house is empty? It’s easier and easier to see who’s going where, even without oversharing. But to hand someone information so easily could put your family and friends in danger.

Sharing Privately Might Be Better

If you’re in a personal dilemma, and let’s face it–everyone goes through big life changes sooner or later, why not share privately? Direct messages, text messages, or a phone call could be a lot better and less confusing to everyone concerned. Plus, you can direct the messages at just those who really need to know. For instance, immediate family and close friends. Not everyone needs to know all the intimate details. Even better would be to meet your friend for a face-to-face meeting. I’m sure not everyone has time, but a quick meeting to catch up could be very appreciated. By the way, you might like this article: Yes–Why Not Call Your Friends on the Telephone?

Think of Your Audience

If you have too much drama in your life, your potential clients might look for someone who doesn’t have so much drama. After all, they wouldn’t want that drama to affect your work for them, right? So even if there is drama, it could be better not to dote on the drama. Also, doesn’t it seem that those who dwell on drama get more of it? Or is that just me? And you might like How to Use Gratitude Marketing to Empower Your Social Media.

What do you think? Is it better to share more or less? Let me know in the comments! Thank you.

Filed Under: Blog Tagged With: audience, oversharing on social media

How Natural Disasters Can Make Us More Grateful

January 9, 2020 By Carol Stephen Leave a Comment

The Kincade fire was in the national news for awhile now, and there have been many other fires in California and other countries since then. My area in the Santa Cruz Mountains lost power for five days in October. Although I’d never wish a power outage or the fear and anxiety that goes along with a fire on anyone, I’m very grateful for what I do have. Maybe you are, too.

Fires, Earthquakes, and Power Outages

With so much going on all around us, water, electricity, and a place to live are so appreciated. We take so much for granted. When the basics are taken away from us, it’s different. Right now, we’re all watching Australia’s fires and seeing how much people and animals there are suffering. Evacuations have become more commonplace because of climate change. The days are hotter, and the weather is more unreliable.

By the way, you might like How to Use Gratitude to Empower Your Social Media Campaign.

Let’s Not Get Used to it

I’m not saying we ought to get used to natural disasters–not at all. But so little separates us from people who’ve gone through natural disasters. We can reach out to others, as well as have empathy, and take steps to avoid some parts of climate change. By “some parts,” I mean that it’s not all our personal responsibility. Some of it does belong to governments and corporations, which we can influence. Some of the changes I’ve been seeing have been astonishing. Jane Fonda has been getting arrested, along with other celebrities, for her civil disobedience on climate change. Seeing celebrities doing the right thing is inspirational.

Gratitude for What We Can Do

We all have personal power, and we can use that power to influence others. Not everyone has the same influence (Jane Fonda is already famous, for instance), but everyone can do something. For my part, I can become a steward of the land that surrounds me. I can also donate to those who have gone through climate emergencies.

Some of my favorite organizations are:

Photo by tedeytan

Gratitude for Those Who Inspire

There are also individuals who inspire us along the way. Of course, the incomparable Greta Thunberg has inspired people of all generations, not just teenagers. There are so many heroes in our every day lives that don’t make the news. People who run the land trusts, nonprofits who care for sick and injured animals, and firefighters are all inspiring.

Photo by string_bass_dave

Little Changes Add up

Like the plot of the movie Moneyball, small changes in strategy can add up to big changes. You might not focus on getting home runs, but on getting on base every time like they did in Moneyball. Little things you do or I do every day can also add up to big changes in our feelings of gratitude. What are you grateful for?

Filed Under: Blog Tagged With: climate change, gratitude, natural disasters

How to Make Stretch Goals That Make You Stretch

January 2, 2020 By Carol Stephen 2 Comments

The idea of stretch goals used to make my teeth hurt. My best friend and I were talking about stretch goals the other day (as I’ve been working on my own goals for 2020). And we both agreed how pointless and stupid they are. Every manager we’ve ever had would want us to create those idiotic stretch goals. I would rather accomplish my goals and hit that ball way out of the ballpark than have goals that make me feel inadequate. But as I thought about stretch goals more, I realized there are some different ways to think about and use stretch goals.

Literal Stretch Goals

The first way I thought of stretch goals differently was to have goals for yoga. For this year, I’d like to be bendier. And to do that, I thought why not include goals that are fun as well as actual stretch goals? So I’d like to be able to do a good shoulder stand by the end of the year, as well as do a Crow stance. According to Women’s Health Magazine, these 3 moves will help you finally master crow. The three moves didn’t help so much as this one sentence near the end of the article:”Modify or ease your way into the pose by placing your hands on blocks.” Yes, blocks and also maybe a roomful of pillows. I’m kidding, sort of. Maybe you also have a literal stretch goal.

What If Goals

The next thing I did to change my goals this year was to make exciting goals. And I think that’s where the gold nuggets really were. Since I’ve taken up knitting, I’m really enjoying both the knitting itself and the community I’ve found. So, to make knitting more exciting and challenging, I asked myself what if I made all my own clothes? And that made me think about what I’d need to do to get there. First, I’d have to really want to do it. Second, I’d need to learn some more sewing and knitting techniques. Sure, I can sew a cover for the blender or make a scarf. But I’ve never done zippers or buttons. And I’ve never knitted a sweater. I can start with YouTube videos, but probably an in-person class would supercharge my learning there. By the way, you might like 100 Best Questions that Will Guide Your Social Media Resolutions.

Learn from Others

As I was tooling around the interwebs, I found an article about micro-resolutions: Year-long resolutions don’t work. Here’s how to make 12 ‘micro-resolutions’ instead. Then I thought what if I took the best of those resolutions, and “borrowed” them? For instance, his July goal of fresh fruit and water was very successful. I think I could do that one! The second one that resonated with me was November’s micro-resolution of thankfulness. Another successful one. As you read someone else’s resolutions you, too, might think “that’ll never work!” Or you might think “I could do that!”

Now that is interesting!

Reframe Goals

Thinking about what I’d need to do to get to a more ambitious goal has made the creation of goals so much more exciting. Maybe that’s what people really mean by stretch goals. And if your goals don’t excite you, why bother?

Print the Goals

We’re so used to having everything online these days. The printer gets barely any action at all. So the next new thing I’m going to do is print my goals and put them in one of those plastic sleeves so I can look at it every day. That way, the stretch goals can become more a living document, and less something that gets created and forgotten by February. What do you think of stretch goals? Yay or nay? Leave me a comment. And thank you!

Filed Under: Blog Tagged With: literal stretch goals, New Year's Resolutions, stretch goals

What Are Your Social Media Dead Zones?

December 28, 2019 By Carol Stephen Leave a Comment

Some social media dead zones are off limits to everyone. If there’s an emergency in your immediate area, for instance, you might not want to post at all. And we’ve all heard about the best times to post on social media, but what about the worst times to post? And what about dead zones that are specific to your brand?

Between Christmas and New Years Day

For many, the time between Christmas and New Years Day is very quiet. Some people take this time off and stop posting altogether, putting up a “Happy Holidays” post and leaving it at that. However, for those who are engaged and/or introverted, this can be a blissful time. Since it’s quiet, they may be able to truly connect with people. It’s similar to the gym right before New Year’s–it’s the calm before the storm and my favorite time to be there.

Week of the Fourth of July

This is another very quiet time online. Many leave town for a week long vacation. Again, it depends on your brand and how you want to handle this time. There are plenty of things to talk about online, but you might need to be a little creative. For example, you may want to post recipes or stories that showcase your brand’s traits.

Each Platform Has Optimal Times

You might like this article: What Are the Best Times to Post on Social Media in 2019? For instance, in it, the author talks about the best times to post on Facebook being between noon and 4:00 p.m. But testing and looking at your own analytics are the way to go. In the construction industry, posting at earlier times is often when people are online.

Worst Times of the Day

For each social media platform, there’s a worst (that is, slowest) time of the day. For most, the time between midnight and 6 a.m. is a time people don’t post much. But for some people, it can be the best time. Think about clubs, bars, musicians, and others who are up in the middle of the night. And here’s a good article about The Science of Social Timing you might like.

Slowest Day of the Week

For many, Fridays are the time when nothing much happens. People leave work early for the weekend, and even if they’re online, they don’t stay long. You might like to read: Why Friday is the Worst Time to Publish a Blog Post. But again, it depends upon your goals online. If you’re an introvert like I am, you might like the quiet time because you can engage in a deeper way.

Test, Test, Test

Whichever day or or time you choose to post, be sure to test. And you’ll probably want to retest, too, before too much time goes by. Maybe run a yearly test, since things change, and people change, too. Do you have a time that you avoid? And do you time your vacations to coincide with certain dead zones? Leave me a comment and thank you.

Filed Under: Blog Tagged With: slowest time of the week, social media dead zone

When You Should Be Serious About Social Media Automation

December 19, 2019 By Carol Stephen 4 Comments

Some people get really riled about those who automate their social media. People seem to either love or hate automation, with no gray area at all. So the question is should you automate? And if you do, how much should you automate? Also, who and when and…the list of questions goes on and on. Here are some times and people who should be serious about social media automation. By the way, you might enjoy this article: How to automate your social media without looking like a jack*.

If You Have a Small Business

Small business owners can’t be online 24/7. They have a business to run, after all. While checking in doesn’t take very long, it can disrupt your attention for that five minutes you’re checking Twitter. And often, you forget why you’re there and off you go down the rabbit hole. An hour later, you’ve lost three customers and forgotten about a conference call you were supposed to attend. It’s important to be there, but also important not to get distracted.

If You Want Your Business to Grow

As outlined in The Complete Guide to Social Media for Small Business, “the number of social users willing to buy from you skyrockets if you use social media not just for publishing, but for actually engaging with your social media audience.” 57.5% of people are more likely to buy from a brand they follow on social media. That’s a huge number. Gone are the days when businesses could get away with not being on social media.

If You Have Any Kind of Business

Everyone is busy, and everyone has multiple things to check off their to-do list. Larger companies need automation, too. There are some larger companies that can afford to have someone manning their social media all day long, but chances are even they have other duties. When I talk to people at medium-sized companies, their duties often include many non-social media responsibilities, too.

If Your Time Is Valuable

Some people enjoy hanging out on social media all day long. Are you one of them, though? If not, you may want to consider automating and outsourcing your social media. Most of us have other things to do. Although if you don’t want to be on social media at all, you might consider hiring someone. Speaking of which, here’s an article for you: For Better Social Media Results, Focus on Engagement.

Which Camp Do You Fall Into?

Are you someone who is against automation? Where do you stand? For myself, I think a combination of automation and engagement is really important. Use automation to post when you can’t be online, but don’t forget to also engage with your audience.

Filed Under: Blog Tagged With: automation, Social Media, social media engagement

#DigiBlogChat December 17, 2019

December 17, 2019 By Carol Stephen Leave a Comment

#DigiBlogChat December 17, 2019

Q1. What traditions did your Grandparents pass down to your family?

Q2. Have you still got decorations that you really treasure from childhood?

Q3. Will Christmas involve carol singing or Karaoke or both?

Q4. Carols and choirs at Church or something different?

Q5. Homemade dinner with all the trimmings or dining out as a treat?

Q6. Home Alone, Jingle All the Way or Deck the Halls, which film is your fave for Christmas?

Q7. Dinner: how do you juggle that family invite from the in-laws?

Q8. Letter or email to Santa?

Q9. Anything Santa might need to keep specially for you this year?

Q10. Which tipple will be your drink of choice this year?

Filed Under: Digiblogchat questions

The #1 Question about Social Media

December 12, 2019 By Carol Stephen 4 Comments

You probably already know the answer to this question. People always always ALWAYS ask about ROI (Return on Investment) with social media. And of course, ROI isn’t the point of social media, at least not in the traditional dollars-and-cents way. There are other things you can measure, though, that may help prove the value of social media. If you want to know more, read on.

The ROI of Social Media

It’s difficult in most cases to attribute social media to return on investment. You can measure things like downloads, reach, and engagement. But sales, which most brands really want, don’t always come directly or immediately. Conversations are important, and can begin with social media. And sometimes people need to be exposed to an idea seven or ten times before making a buying decision. If you’d like to read more about Return on Investment, you might like Why Friendships Are Absolutely the Best ROI of Social Media.

It’s Possible to Track Social Media

Larger brands (and some smaller ones, too) track their social media posts using Urchin Tracking Modules (UTM) tracking. You may have seen these long codes while traveling around the internet. Sprout Social has more information about UTM Tracking here: UTM Tracking and URL Shortening for Social Media Managers. You may want to track click through rates (CTRs) or reach, or any number of other metrics. But again, most business owners want sales. Some metrics can help, especially if your business has an easily definable sales path. Often, I hear people say they don’t know where they heard about a business.

Who’s Listening?

Brand awareness is at the top of most social media marketers’ lists of what’s important. But who’s listening when you post about your brand? That depends upon who you are, when you post, and a few other things. Not everyone who wants to find you will find you. But certainly there are ways to help people find you more easily. You might like Ready to Be Found? These days, it’s your attention that is what’s critical. Brands of all sizes want you to pay attention to them.

If a Tree Falls in the Forest…

And if you post on social media and no one sees it, is it worthwhile to post at all? That depends. Of course, the little bots that roam around on Google will see your posts. Even if nobody comments on your post, being optimistic is helpful. Surely someone will eventually see what you’ve written eventually, right?

Filed Under: Blog Tagged With: ROI of social media, tracking social media, UTM Tracking

Digiblogchat Questions December 10

December 6, 2019 By Carol Stephen 2 Comments

December 10 at #DigiBlogChat — Holiday Food and Drink

A chat about your favorite foods and beverages for the holidays. Bring your pictures and recipes!

Through a series of ten questions, we’ll be exploring your favorites during this fast-paced, friendly hour. Join us to learn about your friends’ favorites, share your own recipes and don’t forget to invite a friend!

Tuesday, December 10th at 1:00 p.m. pst.

Our #DigiBlogChat questions:

What are your ideas for fabulous holiday starters or appetizers?
Do you have a favorite holiday coffee drink? Do tell!
What is your simplest go-to recipe during this busy time of year?
Do you have a grocery store “cheat” recipe that you can share?
What goes into your favorite cookie or sweet?
Have any favorite vegetarian recipes?
Tell us about your best drinks, bubbly or otherwise!
Any secret family favorites that you’d like to share?
What is a meaty dish that you and your friends adore?
Could you share a favorite cheese dish or recipe?

Join this Twitter conversation on December 10th at 1:00 p.m. pst by going on Twitter and don’t forget to add #digiblogchat to your tweet!

Filed Under: Digiblogchat questions Tagged With: DigiBlogChat

Is Clickbait Really Such a Terrible Thing?

December 5, 2019 By Carol Stephen Leave a Comment

By now, we’ve all heard of clickbait; of course, Wikipedia has a great definition. “Click-bait headlines add an element of dishonesty, using enticements that do not accurately reflect the content being delivered.” In other words, you click on something hoping to find out what was really going on with Area 51, but instead find a bunch of pop-up ads for embarrassing products. Then you curse at yourself for having fallen for the bait. And if you’d like to learn about making headlines, you might like to read: What Happens When You Write 25 Headlines Before Choosing One?

But Why is Clickbait so Bad?

At this time of the year (December), there is clickbait everywhere. There are the Black Friday ads (still), Cyber Monday ads, the pre-Christmas sale ads promising fantastic gifts that make the man or woman of your dreams swoon, and so on. The negative part is that something is promised but not delivered. In the olden days, this was often called bait and switch. You click on something but something very different is delivered. Often, clickbaity headlines start with something like “You won’t believe your eyes when you see it!” And of course, there’s nothing you haven’t already seen before. Maybe a million times before. And yet we still get fooled. And by we, I count myself among the many who are fooled.

Money-Making Schemes or Promising Tons of Followers

Sometimes a clickbait headline will promise that you’ll learn something nobody else knows about, and that something can make you a ton of money. On social media, it would be akin to an account promising you many followers if you’ll only share an article or retweet something. Nothing ever happens as a result of your sharing that article, however. You’d think we’d learn but we still get tricked all the time.

Betteridge’s Law of Headlines

Betteridge’s law states that “Any headline that ends in a question mark can be answered by the word no“. Hence the question of whether Clickbait is really such a terrible thing would be a no. But it really is a yes! Why? It wastes our time, and we give our attention where we didn’t intend to. I’d argue that after a few of these we lose confidence in our own ability to judge what is true, and what isn’t. And what’s worse is it makes you lose faith in humanity. After being tricked by a clickbait-y headline, you may have to go and watch several videos of puppies.

What’s the Answer?

Maybe some social responsibility. At least on social media platforms, I’d prefer knowing I’m not going to come across millions of spammy articles. I wrote about this previously: Is Social Responsibility Part of Social Media? With the advent of artificial intelligence, shouldn’t finding fake news be a little easier? I’d think so.

Filed Under: Blog Tagged With: clickbait, clickbait headlines

How to Use Smart Failure and Learn Faster

November 28, 2019 By Carol Stephen 2 Comments

Recently, I watched a TED Talk from Eddie Obeng on YouTube. Eddie talks about Smart Failure, and how everything we know is wrong. I have days like that, but little did I realize everything I knew was wrong. All our assumptions are based on the past, which has already changed, says Eddie Obeng.

Someone Has Changed the Rules

Our world doesn’t work the same way we think it does. It has changed. Our entire existence is based on a world that no longer exists, and all the rules have changed. Do you believe this? I sure do. This one idea changes how we react to everything. He goes on to say that size and scale are no longer the same. If you’re sitting at your little desk under the stairs (reminds me of Harry Potter!), you’re now connected to the internet. By the way, if you get that reference to being under the stairs, you might like this article: Quick and Easy Guide to Your Harry Potter Social Media Type.

Global is the New Scale

Every time you tweet, one-third of your followers are in different countries, says Eddie Obeng. That seems true, although I’m sure I tweet to people who, like me, speak English. How about you? Do you have a lot of diversity in the people you talk to? You can use Tweepsmap to discover where your followers are (on Twitter, anyway). It’s very cool that you can sit at your desktop, or use your phone, to connect to people all over the world. And being connected to people from all over can make you stop and rethink your assumptions.

Smart Failure and Yoga

My yoga instructor at Ease Mountain Yoga talks about falling up. It’s an excellent example of changing the way we think through a physical challenge. We all try to fall up as we do our tree poses. We still fall over, but it feels different. There is lots of giggling, which doesn’t happen as much as when we fall down, for one thing. A small reframing of how we do something can sometimes create a big change in our so-called failure.

Creativity and Innovation

In the old-world model, you tried to do something new, and you failed, and got canned. In the new world model, you fail and are rewarded for it. Not always, but often. This is one way companies, especially startups, are trying to drive innovation. Where do you fall on the spectrum? You might like this article: What Happens When You Focus on Failure and Creativity?

The Idea That Inspired This Blog Post

The blog post you’re reading is based on this TED Talk from Eddie Obeng. Find him on WorldAfterMidnight. You can also listen to his TED Talk. It’s just 12 minutes long, and so worth it. Your little gray cells will thank you.

Filed Under: Blog Tagged With: failure, learn faster, smart failure