A friend of mine, Mitch Mitchell, was talking about oversharing on his video, which got me to thinking. He mentions someone he knows on social media, who was going through a trying time in their marriage. She overshared and criticized her husband (watch the video for the details). This person then got back together with her husband, but never mentioned the drama ever again. Long story short, he has been uncomfortable ever since. Here’s the video:
Oversharing is Confusing
Now you might know someone like this. I certainly do. The person gets back together as though nothing ever happened and you’re left maybe wondering what happened. At the very least, it’s confusing. If you’re on social media and you overshare, where does that leave your audience? If you don’t explain what happened in the meantime, people are left high and dry. It’s different if you’re a marriage and family counselor using your own experiences as fodder (with everyone’s permission). But if you represent a business, your friends and potential clients can be both confused and upset.
Oversharing Can Be Dangerous
If you’re sharing details about something you’re going through like a divorce, where emotions run high, you could end up putting yourself or your family in danger. And if you discuss your own children, that could also put them in danger. For instance, some people talk about problems they’re having with day care, or specific times they pick up their kids. Do you really want to put your kids in danger? Or tell people when your house is empty? It’s easier and easier to see who’s going where, even without oversharing. But to hand someone information so easily could put your family and friends in danger.
Sharing Privately Might Be Better
If you’re in a personal dilemma, and let’s face it–everyone goes through big life changes sooner or later, why not share privately? Direct messages, text messages, or a phone call could be a lot better and less confusing to everyone concerned. Plus, you can direct the messages at just those who really need to know. For instance, immediate family and close friends. Not everyone needs to know all the intimate details. Even better would be to meet your friend for a face-to-face meeting. I’m sure not everyone has time, but a quick meeting to catch up could be very appreciated. By the way, you might like this article: Yes–Why Not Call Your Friends on the Telephone?
Think of Your Audience
If you have too much drama in your life, your potential clients might look for someone who doesn’t have so much drama. After all, they wouldn’t want that drama to affect your work for them, right? So even if there is drama, it could be better not to dote on the drama. Also, doesn’t it seem that those who dwell on drama get more of it? Or is that just me? And you might like How to Use Gratitude Marketing to Empower Your Social Media.
What do you think? Is it better to share more or less? Let me know in the comments! Thank you.
First, thanks for sharing my video, Carol. You captured my feelings exactly.
Second, I think a little bit of openness can’t hurt, but there’s always a limit people should be ready to stop at. If people want to talk about something that’s been resolved in their lives, or something that can help others by talking about it, that’s a good thing. Yet, like we’ve recently seen, talking about a child, even one that’s been bullied, along with showing pictures and videos of them in distress, might not always work out the way one expects it will.
Overall, it’s about how one goes about sharing more than what’s being shared. If you’re in a bad place, you might want to think twice before putting something out about you or your family. Showing good judgment is always the smartest move.
You’re most welcome, Mitch! I really enjoy your videos.
I agree with you about sharing some, but not all of one’s personal life. If it helps someone else, that’s a very good reason to post. Some of my friends post about mental health issues, and those posts do help others. I post occasionally about suicide, even though I’m not suicidal–in hopes that those posts will help others.
Sharing about kids usually isn’t a good idea–not only because those kids will grow up and resent it, but because of privacy and safety.
Having a little discretion is always a good idea.
Thanks for the inspiration and the comment, too!
Carol