Ten of the Worst Social Media Managers

Ten of the Worst Social Media Managers

Ten of the Worst Social Media Managers

Last week, you might have read my post about Finding Your Next Social Media Manager. If you search Google to find a good Social Media Manager (“SMM”), you’ll find all kinds of advice. However, bad advice is rare! Just kidding.

Here, then, are ten types of terrible social media managers. These people put in the extra work to be really, really bad. And if that’s not enough for you, here are some Bad Social Media Manager Secrets.

Does your candidate send Twitter DMs like this one?

Does your candidate send Twitter DMs like this one?

The Direct Message Twitter SMM

The most terrible SMMs send direct messages on Twitter like “Follow us on Facebook!” or “Buy my book!” for no reason. And a link. But the very best of the worst? Those ask you to connect in two places, along with cute emoji, before you’ve even read one of their tweets! Now that’s going the extra mile!

Does Your New Social Media Manager Say She's an Expert?

Does Your New Social Media Manager Say She’s an Expert?

The One Pin Per Board Pinner

This SMM is on Pinterest and has boards with one or two pins each. And they should call themselves a Social Media Expert. After all, since it’s on the Internet it must be true!

The "Social Proof" SMM Buys Followers

The “Social Proof” SMM Buys Followers

The “Social Proof” SMM Who Buys Followers

Having “social proof” is a good thing, right? And followers are so cheap! For $59, you can get thousands of them. Never mind that they’re bots from Indonesia, thousands of miles away from your local brick-and-mortar business. Your new SMM prospect should recommend that you buy followers.

Does your SMM Post from Facebook to Twitter?

Does your SMM Post from Facebook to Twitter?

The “One Size Fits All” SMM

Your new friend should never change their tone of voice, and should use the same post on Twitter, Facebook, Pinterest, LinkedIn, whatever. If the post is too long for one platform, it can break right in the middle of the sentence. As long as lots of people see your posts that’s all that matters.

The UnSocial Social Manager

Your new BFF should never engage with anyone. They can ignore comments, shares, retweets and save themselves a lot of time. There are only so many hours in the day, after all! If you want to know why brands are still using broadcasting in social media, Emma Pauw can tell you why.

The Drunk Poster Sometimes Deletes Posts the Next Day

The Drunk Poster Sometimes Deletes Posts the Next Day

The Drunk Poster

Drinking and posting is the hallmark of a very successful bad SMM. And then deleting all the bad posts and arguments the next day? Even better.

Is Your SMM a Debbie Downer?

Is Your SMM a Debbie Downer?

Debbie or Danny Downer

Your SMM should be heard muttering at all hours that “nothing will ever work.” Things always go from bad to worse, people can’t be trusted, and Murphy’s Law always prevails.

The Overposter

This person posts 60 posts in the space of five minutes, then nothing for two days. What’s wrong with that, you might ask?

Is Your SMM Inflexible?

Is Your SMM Inflexible?

The Inflexible SMM

Why would your SMM ever change his or her strategy on social media? Just because Facebook reduced its reach, or Pinterest added promoted pins, or tweets got indexed by Google? Pffft. No reason!

Does your SMM Use Klod to Measure Influence?

Does your SMM Use Klod to Measure Influence?

The Klod Watcher SMM

Your new bestie should always watch their influence ranking on sites like Klod (not its real name). That’s what real SMMs do, don’t they?

Your Turn!

What did I leave out? Let me know in the comments! Thanks!


Social Media: New Ways to Fail!

Social Media: New Ways to Fail!

Social Media: New Ways to Fail!

You got on Twitter, but you don’t tweet. You won’t show your face on Facebook, your Pinterest has a bunch of boards without any pins, and forget about Google Plus! There’s absolutely too much to do, and you don’t have enough time to goof around on the Interwebz. Does that sound like you? It actually sounds like a lot of people. There are so many ways to fail, and here are some more in case you haven’t tried these.

Ignore People

When people send you a tweet or tag you on Facebook, don’t respond. Turn off all notifications (what a nuisance!) and pretend not to notice anybody.

Post Once a Month

Post about 2,000 times once a month. Then stop until the same time next month. Calendar it now!

Use Broadcast Mode

Send out your messages continuously, and use UPPER CASE. And lots of punctuation marks!!!!!!!!! People love it when they think you’re yelling!

Don’t Say Anything

Alternately, adopt radio silence. Make like a cricket.

Stalk People

Post embarrassing pictures of your friends on Facebook without asking them and then tag them so that all their friends will see how great they look when they’re drunk and punching a cop in the face. When they ask you about it, laugh. If they ask you to take them down, say “why? you look so good!”

Steal Content

Take other people’s content and pretend it’s yours. When someone politely asks you to stop sharing your content, ignore them.

Be Boring

Make every story sound exactly like the last one. And the next one. And the one after that.


Use your tweets on Facebook, your Pinterest pins on Instagram, and act hurt when nobody comments on your things.

101 Dalmations

Post only pictures of dogs, nothing else. Or if you’re not into dogs, how about cookie jars? Or old spoons? Everybody finds fire hydrants as fascinating as you do!


Ranting is a wonderful way to fail

Ranting is a wonderful way to fail

Are you a member of the aluminum foil hat brigade? Let your freak flag fly and rant endlessly about aliens, conspiracies, the government, the other political party, how ObamaCare has failed, and so on. Here are some of the benefits and down sides of ranting.

What New Ways Have You Found to Fail?

Are you as amazed as I am at all the creative ways people find to fail? Let me know about it in the comments!

When Social Media Isn’t

When Social Media Isn't

When Social Media Isn’t

I’ve been saying this until I’m nearly blue in the face: you have to be social on social media to succeed. People are still doing feeds from Facebook, saying that they get no clients from Twitter (because they only have a feed from Facebook), and doing everything they can to make social media easier for themselves. Social media requires some  work if you want to do it right. Here are some worst practices!


What can I say about broadcasting that hasn’t already been said? People want conversation and engagement. So listen, chat, be friendly, and inclusive. Reach out to newbies and be generous first.

Reckless Retweeting

Retweeting  conversations between other people, retweeting a whole list of people when you’re having a conversation with just one person on the list, and retweeting Friday Follows with no reason given to follow all come across as lazy.

Bad Auto-DMs

On Twitter, good Auto Direct Messages are a rare breed. The majority of auto-DMs are, at best, boring and at worst spammy.

Whining on Facebook

Having a negative attitude on Facebook won’t generally make people want to engage more with you. Don’t tell people how stupid Facebook is on Facebook. If you hate Facebook that much, don’t use it. But if you hate it and still insist on using it, for God’s sake, shut up about it (you know who you are!). I can say this, because I know you’re not reading this right now, you Facebook hater, you.


Are you anti-social on social media?

Are you anti-social on social media?

Do you have people who’ve begged you not to post pictures of them on Facebook, and yet you continue to post and tag them? Hint: you’re not Ansel Adams! Respect your friends’ wishes, and don’t overshare or stalk, and tag responsibly. Remember, friends don’t let friends tag unflattering photos.

Using Personal Facebook Page as  Business Page

Occasional spillover isn’t so annoying, but your friends expect to see more personal posts on your personal page. There are many benefits to having a business page for your business!

Alienating Your Audience

Recently a friend sent me a tweet from a brand saying that “The likelihood that I will unfollow you on Instagram once you have a baby is about 97%”.  Maybe someone thinks this is “disruptive” but it just seems antagonistic.

Giving Twitter Shoutouts to Those You Don’t Follow

When you give shoutouts listing people to follow, yet you don’t follow any of them, this is inexplicable.

Repinning Every Pin

Have you experienced this? Someone repins every single thing you pin, yet doesn’t follow you. That, my friends, is stealing someone’s Pinterest soul. If you like my pins that much, follow me!

Do You Practice Social Media or Anti-Social Media?

Certainly you’ve seen some anti-social media practices. Which ones really get your three billy goats gruff?

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