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How to Engage on Social Media: Facebook

December 29, 2016 By Carol Stephen 4 Comments

How to Engage on Social Media: Facebook

This is part of my series How to Engage on Social Media: The Complete Guide. The other parts are here:

Why Facebook?

Love it or hate it, Facebook is big and impossible to ignore. It’s not the elephant or the room, it’s the elephant AND the room! At over one billion users, Facebook is the most popular platform for social media marketers. Forbes has some of the top ten reasons to be on Facebook. Many people dislike the platform, since it has become “pay to play,” but you can’t deny that your audience is there.

“Fully 72% of online American adults use Facebook, a proportion unchanged from September 2014.”

~ Pew Research Center

Photo by The Cosmopolitan of Las Vegas

Popular with Everyone

In addition, “82% of online adults ages 18 to 29 use Facebook, along with 79% of those ages 30 to 49, 64% of those ages 50 to 64 and 48% of those 65 and older.” (Pew Research Center). So it’s the perfect place to engage with others.

Engagement

There are so many ways to engage on Facebook now. There’s live video, there are the usual likes and comments, and you can share posts and tag people or companies. There are ways to send messages either privately or publicly. Here’s one way to proceed–decide which level you’d like to be at, with Level One being the easiest, and Level Five, the most difficult.

Photo by familymwr

Engagement: Level One

Simply read and “like” other people’s posts. This is the most basic level. If you’re engaging on behalf of a company or brand, choose where you spend your time engaging. Then make the rounds daily, just the way you might visit favorite relatives during the holidays.

Engagement: Level Two

The next level of engagement is to comment on others’ posts. Again, be careful where you spend your time. Choose those who are engaging! By the way, if you make a mistake while commenting, you can go back and edit your comments later.

Tip: Use a timer so you don’t get lost down a rabbit hole, distracted by endless cute videos of cats and puppies. Although that could be your reward once you get done!

Engagement: Level Three

Know your brand’s voice, and use it exclusively when you post. So, rather than posting with a generic headline, try writing a few different headlines until something comes to mind. Or, alternately, comment upon the content or the headline when you post. PostPlanner has an excellent article about using your brand’s voice to boost your engagement.

Photo by ivva

Engagement: Level Four

Consider the Five Ws and the H when you post: Who, What, When, Where, Why, and How.

Who is your audience? Your ideal customer is the middle of your bull’s eye.
What issues bother them? Do a survey to find out.
When are they online? Check your page’s analytics to see.
Where do you want them to go once they’ve engaged with you?
Why do they need the content you’re posting?
How will the content you post help solve a problem?

In case you still don’t know why online relationships are important, Justine Pretorious answers that question: “Online Relationships — Are They Important?

Engagement: Level Five

Experiment and vary the types and amount of posts you make. So, for instance, do a newsy post in the morning, a more meaty post at lunch time, and a light-hearted post around dinner time. You might also post differently depending upon the day of the week. Having a strategy and then mixing it up is important–then keep track of what is working. Some social media managers post ten or more times per day. Others only post once or twice per week.

Which Engagement Level Are You?

Are you a six? Or are you closer to a two? Let me know in the comments! And thank you.

Filed Under: Blog Tagged With: Engagement, engagement levels, Facebook, Five Ws

How to Engage on Social Media: Pinterest

December 22, 2016 By Carol Stephen 4 Comments

How to Engage on Social Media: Pinterest

This blog post is part of my series on how how to How to Engage on Social Media: The Complete Guide. You might want to see the previous two parts:

More parts will be added on a weekly basis.

Pinterest a Rising Star

Pinterest is a rising star, and like certain other social media platforms, underutilized. If your audience includes women, then you need to be on Pinterest! Some 31% of adult Internet users use Pinterest, according to the Pew Research Center.

Photo by State Library of New South Wales collection

Can You Be Social on Pinterest?

The people at Pinterest claim that Pinterest is not a social media platform. In some ways, they’re right. But it is still possible to engage, to share, to comment, and to like posts. There is no live video (yet!), but that could be on its way. I’d definitely agree with Justin Horvath that Pinterest is Social Media’s Best Kept Secret.

Social Discovery

Pinterest is certainly a place for discovery. Say for instance you need a pair of shoes. But that’s all you know. Would you go to Google and search for shoes? No! Instead go to Pinterest, because you’ll automagically get visual search cues to guide you: green shoes, camo sneakers, velvety green heels, and more.

How to Engage?

When you’re tooling around Pinterest, like and comment on people’s pins (I know they’re supposed to be called saves, but pins sounds so much better.) Make sure that you tag the person whose post you’re commenting on! Hover over the person’s name and get their handle. For instance, mine is @YourSoMeWorks. Now, make sure to say something a little out of the ordinary. Put a little thought into it.

Use Direct Messaging Sparingly

If you already know someone, use direct messaging. Or if it’s really important. Otherwise, direct messaging can seem spammy, like a direct message on Twitter when you don’t even know someone. It’s a good way to get unfollowed!

Photo by nokia32

Send Pins and Boards

If you see something that a friend would like, by all means send it their way! Pinterest explains how to send either a pin or a board in a short post. You can engage with people that way as well.

Group Boards

Another way to engage on Pinterest is to either join or have your own group board. Engage with the other pinners on the group board, making sure to tag them when you do.

Are You Engaging on Pinterest?

Why or why not? Leave me a comment and I promise to write you back! And thank you!

Filed Under: Blog Tagged With: Engagement, Pinterest, Social Media

How to Engage on Social Media: Instagram

December 15, 2016 By Carol Stephen 6 Comments

How to Engage on Social Media: Instagram

This is part of my series on How to Engage on Social Media: The Complete Guide. Last week’s post was about engagement on Twitter.

Photo by zoonabar

Instagram is Serious Business

Some people think that Instagram is all pretty pictures–which it is–partly. But Instagram is also a serious business, with 28% of adult Internet users on board. People mostly use Instagram on their smart phones, unlike certain other platforms, and with more and more people moving to using smart phones, Instagram can only become more popular.

Photo by ajay_suresh

Why Use Instagram?

Instagram has the highest engagement rate between brands and customers of any platform, according to Forrester.
If someone follows you, they will see your posts, unlike Facebook, which has become “pay to play”
People are becoming more image-centric, and Instagram is the land of images
More people are on their phones and Instagram lives on your phone
People are more engaged on Instagram
Great for local businesses, since you can target using hashtags (see below)
Instagram is simple and fun!

Photo by Elizabeth Yu Xiaoou

Hashtags

There are so many ways to use hashtags on Instagram. I like to bury my hashtags in the first and second comments of a post. There are quite a few ways to use hashtags:

Location-based hashtags. Any city, state, country, highway, or area can be turned into a hashtag. Search the people nearby and see which hashtags they’re using. For instance, #SantaCruzMountains is a favorite of mine for finding people near where I live.
Topic hashtags. Use the topic of your post as a hashtag. If you’re an SEO, expert, for instance, you could do #SEO or #SearchEngineOptimization.
Hashtags that work across industries. For example, #tbt or Throwback Thursday works for any brand.
Self-deprecating hashtags. These are my favorite! Use a hashtag to make a comment about your own post or yourself. #facepalm and #sosnarky, for instance.

Once you use a hashtag, click through and see who else is using it and like or comment on other posts. Be assertive and don’t wait for people to come to you! Go see who else is out there and be friendly. Do a Google search on hashtags in your industry and then experiment.

Photo by Leo Hidalgo (@yompyz)

Tag Others

If your business has a company outing or if you’re with someone else who has an Instagram account, upload a photo and tag that other business or person. This is a great way to get a conversation going. And you can use it in conjunction with another idea, such as Throwback Thursday, to double your interaction! For courtesy’s sake, you might want to ask before posting a picture of someone else.

Interact!

Comment on other posts, and tag the owner, especially if the account has many followers. Often people don’t check their own comments, so tagging ensures that they see your comment. Anything, such as “I love this picture.” “This reminds me of…” “I love that park, too!” can be good conversation starters. Often one word, such as “Beautiful!” works, too.

Photo by Mainstream901

Captivating Captions

At the very least, tell us where a picture was taken. Often, I skip by posts with no captions. Something about a picture with no caption makes me think it’s fake. Do you think so, too? But a wonderful image with a great caption? That can be very powerful. And some of the best Instagrammers use Instagram to tell a story. For instance, @thecuratedfeast uses Instagram to educate. Their posts are packed with information about food history.

Photo by BLMOregon

Regramming

If you really appreciate one of your followers, use their photo, especially if they’re a big fan of your product. One of my favorite accounts is Cutco Cutlery, and they often ask people to use the #shareyourslice hashtag for a chance to be featured. Could you do something like that?

Photo by Cydcor

Contests

Contests are an exciting ways to get your followers engaged. You might ask them to like your own or another account, tag someone who might like that account, for a chance to win a book or a trip! The @Whole30 people are very good at generating engagement this way.

Photo by BLMOregon

Who Do You Find Engaging?

Leave me a message in the comments! I promise to engage with you!

Photo by Trinetty Skytower

Filed Under: Blog Tagged With: Engagement, hashtag, image-centric, Instagram, Social Media

How to Engage on Social Media: Twitter

December 8, 2016 By Carol Stephen 9 Comments

How to engage on social media: Twitter

There is a bias in the business world against Twitter that I don’t comprehend. To me it is the friendliest and easiest place to engage in of all the platforms. Of course, that’s once you understand a few things about Twitter. The blog post you’re reading right now is part of How to Engage on Social Media: The Complete Guide.

Create Moments

Creating Moments on Twitter

Creating Moments

A relatively new addition to Twitter is called Moments. You can create your own Moments or look at other people’s moments. Anyone can create a moment. From Twitter Home ==>>Go to Moments ==>> Click Create Moments (upper right corner). Upload your own photos or add tweets — I called mine San Francisco Lights. Choose your tweets or photos, choose a cover and title and publish! It took me about 15 minutes.

The Number One Mistake People Make on Twitter

Don’t start your tweet with the “@” sign if you want everyone to see it. Add a “.” in front of the “@” sign so that everyone can see it. Yes, that issue’s been around forever. If you need to know more, head over to Gary Vee’s slideshare (it’s only a minute, trust me!).

Leave Some Space

Don’t use up all 140 characters. Use something like 100-130 if you want retweets. Your real estate is limited.

Add images for more retweets.

Add Images for more Retweets

Images and videos are gaining momentum on Twitter. In fact, you’ll get 313% more engagement if you tweet with images, according to Twitter. So do use images for more engagement.

Audience

According to Pew Research

Some 23% of online adults currently use Twitter, a statistically significant increase compared with the 18% who did so in August 2013. Twitter is particularly popular among those under 50 and the college-educated.

Is that your demographic? If so, then you’re in the right place.

The Language

Twitter is the land of hashtags (not too many–one or two is fine!), and abbreviations. Also, emojis are popular on Twitter. Here are some abbreviations.

@ sign = a user’s name. For instance, I’m @Carol_Stephen on Twitter.

RT = Retweet. Means you’re repeating something and giving credit to that person as well.

OH = Overhead.

MT = Modified tweet. Sometimes you have to remove/change a tweet and this is how you alert people that you’ve changed it.

# = hashtag. Hashtags help you organize your tweets. For instance, #cheese will organize tweets about cheese.

Hashtags

Don’t be afraid to use hashtags, especially if the hashtag can help others see the content of a tweet. A hashtag helps others to identify a tweet. For instance, if you’re tweeting about an article on autism, you could add #asd (autism spectrum disorder) to the tweet. If you’re tweeting about an event, you can add the hashtag event, such as #wcoc (WordCamp Orange County). Some brands have their own hashtags. For instance, the San Francisco Giants use #sfgiants and if you tag your tweet that way, you may be featured or retweeted by the Giants!

Emojis

If you’re on mobile, which most people are now, you have access to many emojis. Hearts and smiley faces can let people know the feeling behind a tweet, in case there’s any doubt–or if you want to add more sentiment.

Formality

Twitter is one of the most easygoing, informal of all platforms. Think of it as a backyard bbq. It’s easy to talk to people, and there’s a laidback feeling to it.

Getting colder Carol @Carol_Stephen but still great. Best wishes to you

— Toyota Equipment (@ToyotaEquipment) December 4, 2016

How to Engage?

Say hello to people. If you’re just getting started, this is the easiest way to begin. Above is one real example. You can start with asking about the weather, telling people to have a nice weekend, and so on. Notice that my tweet begins with the “@” sign. So only those who follow both @ToyotaEquipment and myself will see that tweet. @ToyotaEquipment’s reply to me starts with text, so that tweet is more public. See the difference?

Here are a few other ideas:

Ask a new follower a question about their profile.
Ask someone you’re connected with for advice for a topic they’re an expert at.
Comment on someone else’s tweet and retweet it.
Tell others to follow someone whose account you enjoy.
Introduce two people who have something in common.

Lists

Once you have found a few people who like to engage, you can add them to a list. Here’s a post about using lists on Twitter. For instance, you could create a list called Engagers or Friendly People.

Sharing

How much of your personal life will you share on Twitter? It’s a good idea to decide beforehand. My rules are to avoid sex, politics, and disasters. And when I’ve broken my own rules, I’ve had to pay. For instance, during the divisive election recently, I wrote about politics and lost followers. If you have to talk about something divisive, you may want to set up a separate account for that. As a business, I’d avoid those topics, though.

Tagging

Just because you can tag, doesn’t mean you should tag. If a conversation doesn’t really involve someone else, for the love of all that is holy, please remove them! It’s like being on a long bench of people and everyone between you and the person you’re talking to has to listen. Don’t force everyone to listen. On the other hand, if the people are actively involved in a conversation, then yes, keep adding them!

How Do You Engage on Twitter?

Leave me a comment! And of course send me a tweet!

Filed Under: Blog Tagged With: Conversation, engage, Engagement, Social Media, Twitter, Twitter moments

How to Engage on Social Media: the Complete Guide

December 1, 2016 By Carol Stephen 7 Comments

How to Engage on Social Media: the Complete Guide

Recently, I co-taught a class with Alyson Harrold of the Spectrum Group at University of California, Berkeley Extension. What surprised me was that so many of the students said they didn’t know how to engage. Hence, this series on how to engage online.

What is Engagement?

As the folks from Sprout Social outline, it’s smart to break engagement down into several tangible steps. You could call them baby steps. What you want is a channel where you can talk to potential customers and they can communicate with you. By the way, here’s an article about Tweeting for Engagement: Links Versus Text that’s an easy way to share and engage on Twitter.

Why Should Your Business Care?

Engagement is the gold standard of social media. It’s how you get closer to people making a purchase from you or doing business with you. If your potential clients don’t know, like, and trust you, they won’t want to do business with you.

Audience

Each platform has a different audience. How do you engage them? They’re somewhat different. For instance, LinkedIn is the most formal of the social media platforms. LinkedIn is the land of full sentences, and no hashtags. Twitter, on the other hand, is filled with abbreviations and hashtags. Here’s my Twitter: Top Ten Terms and Power Tips to get you started.

Platforms

Each platform has a different culture, and needs different content. Here are some of the top platforms, which will be updated as I write each piece:

The Language, the Hashtags, and Particulars of Engagement

The language is different on each platform. There’s a continuum of formal to informal in language, which includes whether to use hashtags. There are other things to do and to avoid, as well. For instance, can you reshare your content? What is evergreen and what isn’t? You don’t want to share too little or too much and each platform has its own conventions.

Social Sharing

When is it a good idea? When is it not a good idea? Also, it’s a good idea to know how much you’ll share of your personal life on social media. There are things you may not want to share, such as details of your children’s lives. Religion and politics can be tricky, too. But if your brand is about religion and politics, that’s a different story!

Tagging

Should you always tag people? Sometimes yes and sometimes no. On Instagram, it’s a great idea. You can tag on Facebook and Twitter, too. But should you always tag? No! We all have that one friend who’s always tagging you because they think you collect salt and pepper shakers. After awhile, it can be annoying. Don’t be that guy! Or gal.

Connecting the Dots

Using analytics and common sense to see what’s working and what’s not is your best strategy with social media. Analytics don’t tell the whole story, but they can tell a lot. Sometimes analytics just proves a theory that you have.

What Else?

If there’s something else you’d like to see covered, let me know in the comments! Thank you!

Filed Under: Blog Tagged With: analytics, audience, engage, Engagement, Language, Social Media, social media platforms, tagging

Gratitude Marketing: Spotlight on a Social Cynic

November 24, 2016 By Carol Stephen 6 Comments

Gratitude Marketing: Spotlight on a Social Cynic

This year has been a mixed bag, both in terms of business and the political scene. On the one hand, business is up. On the other hand, people’s expectations are higher than ever. The election has created a country divided, with many unable to disagree in a civil manner.

Photo by iantmcfarland

What’s in it for me?

The atmosphere in the country right now seems to be “I’ve got mine–too bad for you.” There is a divisiveness to conversations on social media, with people unfriending, arguing, and a lot of spewing and venting. And it’s funny that while writing these words, I keep imagining what Andy Roony would say. I don’t think he’d be happy about what’s happening.

Why Focus on Gratitude?

Mike Sciortino, who wrote a book and trademarked “Gratitude Marketing^®”had this to say,

“Traditional Marketing speaks at people. Gratitude Marketing^® engages and connects with people. When you combine relationship-building with consistent nurturing, you create clients for life.”

Thinking of customers first is one of the hallmarks of a successful business. So maybe Gratitude Marketing is an old-fashioned idea, successfully repackaged. And it’s certainly an idea that Baby Boomers and others can take to heart.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NJ9UtuWfs3U

A Leap of Faith

Personally, I think we need all the positivity and gratitude and beauty we can get right now. As tough as it may be to have that focus, it’s critical to move forward. We all need to assume that other people are good. Most of them, anyway. And we need to find ways to engage in a civil way. It seems simplistic, but peace really is every step, as Thich Nhat Hanh states. When he talks about “deep listening,” that it can create transformation and healing, could that not also be applied to our business lives?

Filed Under: Blog Tagged With: gratitude, Gratitude Marketing, marketing, Social Media, Thich Nhat Hanh

Valuable Time-Saving Tools for Your Social Media

November 17, 2016 By Carol Stephen 4 Comments

Valuable Time-Saving Tools for Your Social Media

You spend so much time crafting your posts for social media. Then you learn that a tweet only lasts a matter of minutes before it vanishes! Want to learn how to create better posts? Sure you do!

Photo by Kurayba

Limit Yourself

If you’re a solopreneur, don’t take on every social media platform. Take on two or three of the top ones. If you don’t know what those are, the folks at Pew Research Center can help you identify the top-tier ones, along with their demographics. Yes, this isn’t a tool, but it is a strategy that can help you.

Measure What Counts

The number of followers is a vanity metric that doesn’t necessarily get people in the door of your business. Choose instead to go with metrics such as engagement. By the way, here are some Business Analytics Tricks for Twitter that you might find interesting. These tools are valuable:

Google Analytics – can help you “close the loop” on where your blog traffic is coming from.
Analytics on each platform – each platform has its own metrics.
Cyfe – gives you a dashboard of how each of your social platforms performs.

Batch Your Posts

So, when you’re coming up with headlines for Twitter or Facebook, write them in a block of time. Don’t sit and write one at a time. The time it takes you to switch gears is valuable.

Schedule All at Once

How about doing five or ten posts at once? Or a week’s worth in one sitting? Then schedule them all at once. There are many schedulers out there–HootSuite, SproutSocial, and many more. Jeff Bullas has a complete list on his 17 Best Social Media Management Tools, so I won’t reinvent the wheel here. But for brainstorming those topics, how about these ideas:

Mindmapping
Brainstorming (I prefer groups to solo)
A blogging buddy (my blogging buddy is Bridget Willard) to help you when you’re stuck!

Photo by puliarf

Write Five Topics

One of the most helpful hints I heard when I first started blogging was from Syed Balkhi, who suggested writing five topics at once so you don’t have an excuse to quit writing. And in case you didn’t know, you really can create a wonderful blog post in an hour. Yes, you can! And speaking of blogging, which goes hand-in-hand with social media, here are some favorite writing tools:

Relax Melodies – plays white noise that you can customize, such as rain, surf, etc.
Coschedule – helps you write great headlines
Noko – time management tool that lets you create reports

Does Social Media Take Too Much Time?

Some days it feels that way, doesn’t it? Let me know if you have a favorite tip in the comments! Thank you.

Filed Under: Blog Tagged With: batching, blogging buddy, measure, schedule posts, Social Media, time management, writing content

Social Media: Spotlight on the Speed of Change

November 10, 2016 By Carol Stephen 6 Comments

Social Media: Spotlight on the Speed of Change

People have complained about information overload since, well, since there were people. And I suspect that before homo sapiens, cro magnon man (and woman!) were also complaining about too much change. Now that social media is here, change is happening faster than ever.

Insta-Updates

With the advent of social media, we can find out about our relatives’ health, life changes, and new pets instantaneously. And even if we don’t want to know, we hear about political opinions. By the way, here’s a fun piece about the latest election: Albert Einstein and the Menace of the November Election. Even on Instagram, which is the best place for introverts, in my opinion, people are yelling–YELLING!–about politics lately. Ugh.

Eustress

Change produces stress, and there are some types of stress that are in the Good Camp. Promotions at work, getting a seven-letter Bingo in Scrabble, or learning that you won the Lottery could be in this category. As Elizabeth Scott outlines in When Stress is Good for You, you don’t need to worry about all kinds of stress. Acute stress is particularly harmful. We humans like some things to remain stable, and not to have shifting sands under our feet.

Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram–Oh, My!

Just as all kinds of stress are not alike, not all social media platforms are created equal. Let me explain. Twitter moves fast and can catch you off-guard with its constantly moving articles, memes, and newsy tidbits. Facebook can be a rabbit hole of articles about cats who think they’re dogs (and dogs who think they’re cats!), and people ranting about every possible first-world problem. The videos and sponsored posts can move quickly as well. If you want a more peaceful social media experience, Pinterest and Instagram are much quieter–without tons of ads or newsy posts screaming at you to pay attention.

Photo by valkyrieh116

Reframing Information Overload

There are a million rabbit holes and tasks that call out to us. There are parties and business events. And there is that little voice that says “you should…”. For myself, deciding what I could do versus what I should do makes all the difference. Did you know that there’s an Information Overload Awareness Day (October 18)? And an Information Overload Research Group?

Meditation and Quiet Time

Everyone needs some time to completely withdraw from the world, whether that’s through meditation, yoga, or simply quiet time in the car. For all you introverts out there, here’s Six Facts About Introverts and Social Media That Will Impress Your Friends.

How Do You Manage the Speed of Change?

Do you withdraw from the world or does being involved and “on” 24/7 excite and exhilarate you? Leave me a comment! And thank you.

Filed Under: Blog Tagged With: change, Facebook, information overload, Instagram, Pinterest, Social Media, Twitter

Albert Einstein and the Hidden Menace of the November Election

November 3, 2016 By Carol Stephen 8 Comments

Albert Einstein and the Hidden Menace of the November Election

A couple of weeks ago we brought Nikola Tesla back from the dead to answer some questions about the iPhone 7. This time, we’re bringing the ghost of Albert Einstein back to help us out because we’ve become very stupid and we could use some help.

Great Britain and the Queen

Let’s get one thing straight, right off the bat. In case you were wondering, the Queen has NOT asked us to write in her name on November’s Ballot and restore British Rule. It’s in Snopes. Although the Brits are happy that we’ve become so silly that it might distract the world from Brexit.

Photo by MarioMancuso

On Having Only Two Choices

Since Einstein is here for only a short amount of time, let’s ask him what he thinks.

Us: So, do you mind if we call you Al?

Einstein: Please, go right ahead.

Us: Do you think we might need other choices for this president?

Al: As a human being, one has been endowed with just enough intelligence to be able to see clearly how utterly inadequate that intelligence is when confronted with what exists.

Us: We thought so, too.

Photo by CJ Sorg

He Who Must Not Be Named

Us: So, Al, do you think that the Republican candidate is a little bit like He Who Must Not Be Named from Harry Potter?

Al: Nationalism is an infantile sickness. It is the measles of the human race.

Us: We’re putting you down as a yes.

Al: Ok.

The Future of Education

Us: So, Al, If He Who Must Not Be Named wins the election, does that mean that any and all education is doomed?

Al: The aim of education must be the training of independently acting and thinking individuals who, however, see in the service to the community their highest life problem.

The Unnamed One and Twitter

If He Who Must Not Be Named uses Twitter for his rants, does that mean that Twitter is somehow diminished?

Al: “The important thing is to not stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing.

Us: Ok, but did you see Jon Stewart turn his Twitter rant with him into a stand-up routine?

Al: That was funny.

Us: So we should vote wisely this November?

Al: Ayup.

Photo by Lee Edwin Coursey

How Should We Vote, Then?

Us: So, any advice on how we should vote in the election?

Al: A happy man is too satisfied with the present to dwell too much on the future.

Us: Are you saying “Don’t worry, be happy?”

Al: Never underestimate the stupidity of the American electorate.

Us: Gotcha.

There You Have it!

If the smartest man, er–ghost, ever can’t sway your vote, who can? Leave me a comment about the election and how you’re managing to stay sane.

Filed Under: Blog Tagged With: Einstein, Election, November, Presidential Election, Twitter

Avoid the Halloween Clown Apocalypse: How to Fight Back Ten Ways

October 27, 2016 By Carol Stephen 2 Comments

Avoid the Halloween Clown Apocalypse: How to Fight Back Ten Ways

You know that creepy clowns have gone mainstream when NPR is writing articles about them. We have always known that clowns were ghoulish, but now they seem to be everywhere. If you don’t believe me, here’s Coulrophobics Beware: America’s Creepy Clown Problem Continues.

There you are in your pirate costume, with your plastic sword and up pops a terrifying clown! What do you do? Here are some ideas.

Use Confetti

You’ve heard of fighting fire with fire, but what about fighting clowns? For this battle, you’ll need pies, confetti, and squirting daisies. Anything less will not do.

Scare Them Back

Like fighting a mountain lion, you must puff yourself up and look bigger in order to fight a creepy clown. Think big shoes and droopy pants and you’ll be a winner in the FrightFest!

When you know you're going to see this meme for the next month. #PhelpsFace pic.twitter.com/N3axBEK0hI

— M.A.Larson (@M_A_Larson) August 9, 2016

Don’t Engage

Like certain presidential candidates, making eye contact could just make it worse. If you can walk on by, do so! However, if you must make eye contact, make it powerful and intimidating. Think Phelps Face!

Chain Saws

Make sure they’re the gas-powered kind. If you have to plug in your electric chain saw, you’re only going to elicit laughter. And for Krusty’s sake, practice before you use one!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WwbnvkMRPKM

The Funniest Joke in the World

If you know the Funniest Joke in the World, now would be the time to tell it. Perhaps the clown will die laughing. Use this as a last resort, though.

Run Away

This works for many people. All you need are good sneakers and the willingness to run like hell. Simple, yet effective.

Don’t Post Where You Are on Social Media

Do NOT say that you have THREE HUGE BAGS of chocolate bars and you’re out trick-or-treating and post a picture of yourself on Twitter in front of a street sign with a hashtag of #yummy.

Cue from the Walking Dead

Take a Cue from the Walking Dead

What Would Carol Do? She’s my favorite character on the Walking Dead. Put that on your bracelet or bumpersticker and then act accordingly.

Hide Under a Rainbow Wig

Realize that your fear of clowns is probably worse than the clowns themselves. As this CNN story indicates, “the easiest explanation is that there really are a bunch of creepy clowns out there hell-bent on some nefarious end. Call it Occam’s Rubber Nose.” (Hilarious, right?)

Ok. Maybe that’s not realistic.

Check the Interactive Map of America’s Creepy Clown Epidemic

Have there been many clown sightings? How many in your area? Of course, it’s 2016 and you can check the map! Yes, you can. Here is the Interactive Map of America’s Creepy Clown Epidemic. I know: whoa.

How Will You Fight Back?

Since it’s a question of not IF clowns will try to take over the country, but WHEN they’ll try to take over, how will you defend yourself?

Filed Under: Blog Tagged With: clown apocalypse, clownpocalypse, clowns, confetti, Halloween, Phelps Face