Silent But Deadly: The Passion of The Authentic Pen

Silent But Deadly: The Passion of The Authentic Pen

Silent But Deadly: The Passion of The Authentic Pen

Some days we all struggle with writing. The words don’t flow, thoughts get stuck, and even our best efforts and tricks don’t create new ideas. Other days, writing is effortless. Words emerge in complete sentences, and all of them make sense. Why is this? More and more, I believe the answer lies in silence.

Escaping the Noise

Escaping the Noise

Escaping the Noise

I live in the middle of a forest. My little house is surrounded by redwood trees. I always thought it would be quiet here, but there is a lot of noise: chain saws, trucks, and leaf blowers are among the contraptions people use daily. And also: motorcycles.

Music

Music

Music

Loud music, or even music with words is distracting. People with their constant chatter is distracting. More and more, I hear both: people talking, loud music, which equals the inability to focus.

Habit Forming

So on those easy writing days when words flow, what happens? What is the difference? For me, writing is more effortless when I write every day, and when that writing is done in silence.

Silence

Silence

Silence

Sometimes white noise in the background works. But mostly silence. Maybe this has to do with being an introvert.

By the way, I’ve been reading a great book about noise and the lack of silence: One Square Inch of Silence. ”

“SILENCE IS NOT THE ABSENCE OF SOMETHING,
BUT THE PRESENCE OF EVERYTHING.”

~Gordon Hempton

Bagpipes, Synchronicity

Gordon Hempton, author of One Square Inch, writes about Jay Salter, bagpipe player, who lives in Santa Cruz. The two of them hiked together and visited some quiet spots. The next time I went to the Homeless Garden Center (a local CSA in Santa Cruz), there happened to be a bagpipe player, playing in the fields. Although I did not stop his playing to ask his name, I’d never heard a bagpipe player there before, and suspect it was him. Coincidence?

Inspiration

Inspiration

Inspiration

Some of my sources of inspiration are:

  • CopyBlogger
  • Twitter (tweets about technology and art)
  • Nature
  • Reading
  • Silence, again
Fear or Silence?

Fear or Silence?

Fear or Silence?

Maybe it’s a generational thing, but I’ve noticed that many dislike silence and will fill it with any nearby noise. White noise generators, steady hip hop, or t.v. Have you noticed this, too, or is it just me?

The Magic of Media: Joy in the New Year

The Magic of Media: Joy in the New Year

The Magic of Media: Joy in the New Year

When the clock hits midnight on the last day of the year, enthusiasm is at its highest. Hope is in the air. Anticipation and excitement fill the streets and the champagne glasses overflow. This hope and enthusiasm fuel social media resolutions.

Happy Happy, Joy Joy

Happy Happy, Joy Joy

Happy Happy, Joy Joy

Everyone will tell you how easy it is to master social media. You can learn Pinterest in a weekend, take a seminar on Twitter, or watch YouTube videos on Facebook until the cows come home. And it’s that time of year when everyone wants to start their resolutions. Heck, you can certainly do your Social Media in 60 Minutes a Day if you really try. There are lots of reasons to be excited about this new year, with a few caveats.

RockStar Expectations

RockStar Expectations

RockStar Expectations

I’m not going to be a Debbie Downer and tell you that you’ll never be a rockstar, but be a little easy on yourself and set your expectations accordingly. Getting 1,000 followers a month sounds good on January 1, but by March you might give up and do nothing at all.

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Startup Mentality and S.M.A.R.T. Goals

Having lofty goals is often a by-product of startups. Having S.M.A.R.T. goals, which equals Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Responsible and Time (completion date) enables you to reach those goals. As Allan Hirsch explains “we need to set goals using strategic planning” in his article As New Year approaches, don’t just set goals, set ‘SMART’ goals.

Out of the Ballpark

Out of the Ballpark

Out of the Ballpark

If you’re an entrepreneur, you want to hit grand slams. And the way to achieve that is to set yourself up for success by overdelivering. Test the waters with your social media before committing to something so huge that you’ll feel overwhelmed.

Stretch Goals

Stretch goals are demotivating. To my mind, they are more about reaching a monetary goal than about reaching smaller goals while having fun and being creative. In his excellent article, The Folly of Stretch Goals, Daniel Markovitch outlines how stretch goals sap intrinsic motivation.

Going Viral

Going Viral

Going Viral

There are ways to make that post or tweet go viral. That is, you can be poised for the opportunity but it usually happens when you least expect it. What is that saying–success is the intersection of preparation and opportunity. And if you’re successfully poised, that post may spread like a virus in ways that make you look good.

Be Open to Surprises

Be Open to Surprises

Be Open to Surprises

What I’d like for myself for this new year is to be open to the fun and excitement of social media. Every day, it’s possible to talk to real people online, connect with them, and perhaps meet them in real life. And although that’s tough to put into a resolution, being open to surprises is my new year’s resolution.

What’s Your Resolution?

Tell me in the comments!

 

 

Why It’s Easier to Be Darth Vader Than a Social Media Manager

Why It's Easier to Be Darth Vader Than a Social Media Manager

Why It’s Easier to Be Darth Vader Than a Social Media Manager

Star Wars has been around for decades and people still love it. One of the iconic characters, Darth Vader, has to be nearly at the top of the Star Wars totem pole. You’d think that Darth Vader has a tough job. But it’s not as tough as being a social media manager!

Getting Dressed

Getting Dressed

Getting Dressed

Every day, Darth Vader gets up and puts on an all-black outfit. He gets a black helmet, a cool black cape, and humongous boots. Social Media Managers (SMMs) have to consider what to wear every single day. Although we own a lot of t-shirts, that’s not the best thing to wear all the time.

Put on a Happy Face

Put on a Happy Face

Put on a Happy Face

Does Darth Vader worry about putting on a happy face? Never! In fact, his smart phone doesn’t even have happy face emoticons!

Backtracking

Backtracking is a good way to present a topic in the cinema sometimes. So here’s the backstory.

Recently, a couple of my friends singled me out as a good person to write about Darth Vader and being a social media manager (see the tweet above). So here you go, Robert Nissenbaum and Adam Fout!

Darth Vader gets full benefits

Darth Vader gets full benefits

Benefits

SMMs have to buy their own benefits, while Darth Vader gets full medical benefits (including dental and vision) through the Star Wars Medical Trifecta!

R.E.S.P.E.C.T.

R.E.S.P.E.C.T.

R.E.S.P.E.C.T.

You’d think people would respect social media managers more. However, people have changed their names to Darth Vader because of the aura of toughness that Darth Vader has. Do little kids want to be social media managers when they grow up? As if!

Profitability

Profitability

Profitability

Darth Vader, of all Star Wars characters, has been called the most profitable. You could probably not compare his profits to those of an SMM. Well, you could, but Darth Vader has a lot more zeroes in his paycheck.

Content Writing

Content Writing

Content Writing

Darth Vader has multiple scriptwriters. Social media managers have to write their own content, including headlines. And sometimes those headlines can be a real pain in the asterisk to write!

Stand-ins

Stand-ins

Stand-ins

Darth Vader has up to twelve people to help him out, including multiple people for his voice. And nine different actors played Darth Vader! Social media managers don’t have stand-ins, unless they have a team to assist, which is rare.

Grumpytosis

Grumpytosis

Grumpytosis

Darth Vader gets to be grumpy and gruff all the time. Social media managers need to have an upbeat, positive attitude. By the way, here’s my article Social Media Managers and Insomnia. Sometimes being upbeat all the time leads to insomnia.

Legend

Legend

Legend

Yes: That would be @DarthVader’s account on Twitter! 423,000 followers. Is there one for social media managers? I think not!

What’s Your Gripe?

Leave me a comment! Tell me if it’s easier to be Darth Vader or you!

 

Insomnia: A Social Media Manager’s Battle

Insomnia: A Social Media Manager's Battle

Insomnia: A Social Media Manager’s Battle

Social media managers often get insomnia. I read about it one time on Mashable. I was sleepy, but I think that’s where it was. We worry about getting online traffic, clicks, and a whole host of other ridiculous things, such as the following.

The Ridonculous Headline

We worry about silly things like headlines. You’ve all heard that the headline is the most important part of writing an article or blog post. It needs to be catchy, but not linkbait. You want people to click on that link and then dive into the blog post. You might want to read about why headline writing is such a pain in the asterisk.

Forgetting

With social media, there’s always more to do. One more tweet to write, one more person to talk to, one more half-baked task to implement. So while you’re trying to sleep, there’s always a little voice saying “what did you forget to do?”

The Stupid Call to Action

As if writing a decent Facebook post isn’t hard enough, there’s always that stupid call to action. Sometimes it’s implied, but usually not. It can be a question, such as “tell me what you would do,” “do you agree?” “Tell us! Yes or No.” Sometimes it’s a button to subscribe or sign up for a newsletter. Hubspot has some terrific call to action examples, by the way.

The Ludicrous Return on Investment

If you track everything carefully and use your analytics, you can figure out where you’re getting the most return on investment (ROI). But with social media, it’s more like your audience gets warmed up before making a sale. Could you track where every single customer comes from?

The Image

The Image

The Compelling Image

Is the image captivating enough? Does it tell a story? Is it boring? Again, without sliding over into linkbait, the image has to ride that fine edge between captivating and linkbait. Will your audience lean in to see what’s happening in the image? Line, color, and texture all need to work together.

Timing

Timing is another preposterous thing to consider. If you post too early, no one will be awake (except the other insomniacs who haven’t been to bed yet. Post too late and only the zombies and creatures of the night will see it. Then again, you don’t want to do what everyone else does! That late night post just might get picked up and go viral! It could happen!

What if No One Shows up to the Twitter Chat?

What if No One Shows up to the Twitter Chat?

What If There’s a Chat and No One Shows Up?

Akin to “if a tree falls in the forest and no one’s there…”. You tweet out carefully crafted questions and nobody answers. Tick-tock, Tick-tock, Tick-tock. Crickets. Getting those first few people to join your chat can take forever. Meantime, you have to keep plugging away, and whistling a happy tune.

Scheduling Versus Being Online Live

Scheduling Versus Being Online Live

Scheduling Versus Being Online Live

Do you wait around for someone to respond to your tweet? Or do you post, go away, and come back three days later? That’s the dilemma right there. Of course, the more you’re online, the better your chances are of making a good contact. And as my buddy, Bridget Willard says, “Relationships are long-term investments.”

What Dopey Things Keep You Up At Night?

What Dopey Things Keep You Up At Night?

What Dopey Things Keep You Up At Night?

Leave me a ridiculous comment!

 

 

 

Social Media: Icebreakers, Openings, and the Approach

Social Media: Icebreakers, Openings, and "the Approach"

Social Media: Icebreakers, Openings, and “the Approach”

Now that you’ve got all your social media set up and you’re tweeting, posting, and pinning your heart out, what do you do next? Brands can learn a lot from interactions with potential customers, as this article from AdWeek, What Brands Can Learn from Social Conversations explains. Here’s a short primer on where to begin.

If You Say Hello, People Will Usually Say Hello Back!

If You Say Hello, People Usually Say Hello Back!

Say Hello

Yes, it might sound overly simplistic, but it does work. Say hello. You could also say how are you, what’s up? how’s the weather? or any other number of things. Think about what you’d say to the checker at the grocery store.

Ask a Random Question

Ask a Random Question

Ask a Random Question

If you want to get people going, you could ask a random or “stupid” question. People may even respond so that they can correct you! The point is to get the ball rolling.

Make Personal Comments

Make Personal Comments

Personal Comments

How personal would you want to be with comments you share? Sometimes you’ll find that you have a hobby in common with your new friend. Asking about their yoga class or favorite dog could make an ordinary relationship a little more special.

Holiday Posts

Holiday Posts

Holiday Posts

If you celebrate certain holidays (or even if you don’t), how about sharing pictures? If you’re an introvert like I am, you might even talk about how you don’t like to share. Surely someone else can relate to that! Here’s my Six Facts About Introverts and Social Media, by the way.

Comment on Their Content

You could ask for clarification or ask a question, as @CoachGaryHenson suggests, above. And in person, the “What do you want to be when you grow up?” question works for @ToscaSac.

Ask About Their Website or Blog

Ask About Their Website or Blog

Ask About Their Website or Blog

If your new friend is in business, this one is a surefire winner! You can ask a million billion gazillion questions about their blog, how long they’ve been blogging, who their best customers are, but be prepared to listen. Most people in business can talk about this stuff for a looo (breath) ooooooong time!

Facebook or Twitter?

Give people an either or question that’s simple and they’re sure to answer!

Ask Where a Photo Was Taken

Ask Where a Photo Was Taken

Ask Where a Photo Was Taken

This could apply to a Twitter header, Facebook post, anything online. Even better if it’s a picture of them, and you can give a compliment.

Timing is Everything

Timing is Everything

Timing

Timing is one of the most important things in a conversation. For instance, don’t follow someone and immediately send a DM on Twitter! Take some time to get to know them. Here are a bunch of social media worst practices, by the way.

The Legend of Black Friday

The Legend of Black Friday

The Legend of Black Friday

The Fear of Missing Out

Once upon a time, in a mall not so far away, there lived a monster known as Black Friday. Each year, the people did as the beast demanded, sacrificing precious time with their families and experiencing the Fear of Missing Out.

Initial Recon: First Infantry

Initial Recon: First Infantry

The Fleeting Mutant

As elusive as Sasquatch, the beast could only be spotted once a year. To make matters more intriguing, everyone in every village across all the land knew the power of the mutant.

She's Crafty

Outrunning the Beast

Opt To Be Outside

People across the great nation followed the monster, thinking that the monster would lead them to a treasure trove. How were they to know that #OptOutside was trending, and they should be outdoors to improve their productivity? Outdoors away from the mall, that is.

 

The Early Martyrs

The Early Martyrs

The Early Martyrs

The early martyrs, unaware of the coming forces, would be unable to deter what would eventually overwhelm the country. They would stand in line for hours, braving the elements, sometimes in tents, cots, and sleeping bags.

The Monster Enchanted Its Unwary Victims

The Monster Enchanted Its Unwary Victims

The Monster Enchanted Its Unwary Victims

Striking on Thanksgiving Eve at 6 pm, the monster would enchant its unwary victims. The luckiest of the victims would barely make it to their cars to get to the mall–while still holding a forkful of pumpkin pie.

Mesmerized by "Sale" Signs

Mesmerized by “Sale” Signs

Mesmerized by “Sale” Signs

In other villages, the beast would not appear until midnight or sometimes 5 am the following morning. Shoppers would find themselves in the crosshairs of the behemoth, not even able to take their eyes off the “Special Sale” signs.

In any event, many were abandoned by their families that day.

Thanksgiving Holiday Online Shopping, via Graphiq

Thanksgiving Holiday Online Shopping, via Graphiq. 

 

People Began to Wake Up

Gradually, people began to realize that they would rather surf online in their bathrobes than camp outside in the cold. Retailers were happy that they could still sell their wares online.

The End of the Beast?

The End of the Beast?

The End of the Beast?

The beast turned out to be an adorable labrador retriever. He was adopted by a childless couple from Poughkeepsie, and spoiled rotten. And they all lived happily ever after.

The End.

 

Social Media Emergency: Ten Questions

Social Media Emergency: Ten Questions

Social Media Emergency: Ten Questions

During the last few days, there has been a terrible attack on Paris. Many people stopped what they were doing to share their sympathy and outrage. As a social media manager, what do you do when such an attack occurs? How do you handle an emergency? Here are some questions to ask yourself.

What Constitutes an Emergency? 

An emergency is a dire situation that makes you stop and take notice. You may have to take immediate action to prevent loss of life. However, on social media we are all more connected than ever before. The world seems smaller at times. A tweet from the United States can reach France in a millisecond. Because of our emotional connection, we often react as though the event occurred to us.

San Francisco City Hall flies the French flag in the wake of the Paris attacks, and its colors are displayed in lights. Photo: Santiago Mejia, Special To The Chronicle

San Francisco City Hall flies the French flag in the wake of the Paris attacks, and its colors are displayed in lights. Photo: @SantiagoMejia, Special To The Chronicle

Local, Regional, National, and International Emergencies

An emergency could involve just a few people around you. A local school might have a water main break. A regional emergency might involve an issue with air quality due to a factory explosion. An international emergency, such as the recent shootings in France, while not physically involving those in other countries, involve everyone because of the emotional aspect.

How Many People Are Involved?

If only a person or two is involved in the emergency, we might choose to ignore it on our social media. For instance, a local hero might have been in a car accident. Although very sad, something like that might not stop us in our tracks. The people at Mass Shooting Tracker track shootings when four or more people are shot. Without being callous, sometimes the number of people involved in a shooting determines our response.

What is Your Social Media Strategy for Emergencies?

What is Your Social Media Strategy for Emergencies?

What is Your Social Media Strategy for Dealing with Emergencies?

Strategy for emergencies has gotten trickier and more complex. Five years ago, school shootings did not seem commonplace. Now they are occurring all the time. We seem emotionally tired from all the violence in the news. By the way, if you want to read my post about Social Media in 60 Minutes a Day, here you go!

Do You Post During an Emergency?

Do You Post During an Emergency?

When an Emergency Occurs, Do You Post?

Often people do not have phone service during disasters, but they may have access to Twitter or Facebook. Many want to stay out of the way when there is a chaotic situation, as misinformation can rapidly spread. Scientific American discusses ways that social media has changed disaster response in their excellent article.

Do You Go Dark?

Do You Go Dark?

Do You Go Dark?

If you go dark on your account, how long do you wait before you post again? What is a reasonable amount of time? An hour? A day? A weekend? I often find that talking to others helps me to determine how long to wait before posting.

Do You Continue Selling Your Product or Service?

Do You Continue Selling Your Product or Service?

Do You Continue Selling Your Product or Service?

Whether you continue selling is an important consideration. If one of your brand attributes is compassion, not selling is a good strategy. On the other hand, if you provide rescue animals during emergencies, then an offer of help would be appreciated. If you sell diamond rings, however, then you are likely to face a serious backlash if you continue to sell during a school shooting.

How Do You Handle An Outburst On Your Page?

How Do You Handle An Outburst On Your Page?

How Will You Handle An Emotional Outburst on Your Account During an Event?

When there’s an emergency, people often get very emotional. They may vent on your page. How will you handle this? Will you respond at all?

Is There a One-Size-Fits-All Response?

Is There a One-Size-Fits-All Response?

Is There a One-Size-Fits-All Response?

Unfortunately, there is no one best response to an emergency. Most people prefer to go black, regroup, then decide what the best response is. Some go dark for a day or two and resume posting. Others never stop posting.

Which Agencies to Check in an Emergency?

Which Agencies to Check in an Emergency?

Which Agencies to Check?

Who needs to handle this? Here are a few places to check:

One of the best places to check during an emergency is with a government agency on Twitter. For instance, if you feel an earthquake, a quick look at Twitter will let you know where it is, how large, and what to do (if anything). 

Talk to Me

Do you have a social media strategy for emergencies, or do you prefer to “wing it”? Leave me a comment!

Don't be a minion!

Seven Myths About Procrastination

Seven Myths About Procrastination

Seven Myths About Procrastination

When faced with a deadline, how often have you said to yourself, “there’s always tomorrow!” and then put it off? If that sounds like you, you’re not alone. And we’re often told that procrastination is negative. But is it really true that people who procrastinate have no friends, overspend, and are unsanitary? I’ll tell you tomorrow.

Let Someone Else Decide

Let Someone Else Decide

Issues May Resolve Without You

If you’ve ever decided something quickly, as we’ve all heard we should, how often could the issue be resolved by someone else? Emergencies often resolve themselves if you take no action. When people scream that it’s an emergency, often putting off the decision will force the person who created the issue to handle it themselves.

Decisions at the Last Possible Moment

Decisions at the Last Possible Moment

Decisions at the Last Possible Moment

In his book, Wait: The Art and Science of Delay, Frank Partnoy claims that when faced with a decision, we should assess how long we have to make it, and then wait until the last possible moment to do so. The Romans and Greeks embraced their own procrastination like the big party-goers they were. But then the Puritans came along with a bunch of malarkey that people would embroider onto cushions about “a stitch in time saves nine.” But important decisions need slow cooking, in more of a crock-pot approach than a wok approach.

 

Reframing the Stigma

Reframing the Stigma

Reframing the Stigma

What if, instead of procrastination we called it managed delay? Something about the word procrastination makes us seem not in control of our own destinies. But managed delay? That makes us seem to be the managers of time and not vice-versa. And if your time needs better management, here’s Time Management for Busy Entrepreneurs.

Fast and Efficient

Fast and Efficient

Fast and Efficient

Putting off tasks until the last minute might seem inefficient, but when it’s the 11th hour and you have to finish that report sitting on your desk, it’s more likely to get done. Maybe not perfectly done, but done. As long as you’ve left that 11th hour free, that is.

The Art of Procrastination

The Art of Procrastination

The Art of Procrastination

John Perry, in the Art of Procrastination, “generously acknowledges that he has stood on the shoulders of giants, in particular Robert Benchley, the Algonquin Round Table member. In 1930, Benchley revealed how he mustered the willpower to pore through scientific magazines and build a bookshelf when an article was due.”

Anyone Can Do Any Amount of Work

“The secret of my incredible energy and efficiency in getting work done is a simple one,” Perry wrote. “The psychological principle is this: anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn’t the work he is supposed to be doing at that moment.” (from a New York Times article)

Productivity Under Pressure

Not everyone can sit down at their desk and produce a masterpiece at an appointed hour. Some are early birds and work best at dawn. Others need to delay until conditions are just so. If you can give your laser focus, but are a late starter, will you be any worse off? Here’s my post on about social media in 60 minutes a day, by the way.

Do You Procrastinate?

Let me know right now! Or later. Whatever.

 

Is There Pie in the Cloud?

Is There Pie in the Cloud?

Is There Pie in the Cloud?

It’s so wonderful that Pinterest has free tech talks. The most recent engineering talk that I attended was about about cloud engineering. I always meet interesting people at these tech talks, enjoy the speakers, and the icing on the cake is the free food.

Irony alert: this time there was no cake. Or pie! Which to all God-fearing clowns is dessert. By the way, if you need to hear more about clowns, here’s an article any pie-loving clown would like: Secrets of the Social Media Circus.

So no cake, no pie, and no dessert of any kind? Well, I’ll just have to make do!*

Easy as pie?

Easy as pie?

Easy as pie?

First up for her tech talk was Nori Heikkinen , a Google engineer, who spoke briefly about the history of search and Site Reliability Engineering (SRE) and a stint at Healthcare.gov. She did not make her time with Healthcare.gov sound as easy as pie. And speaking of pie, my favorite kind is blackberry. But since it’s November, there is mostly pumpkin and apple pie. 

Since I wasn’t allowed to take pictures, here’s an image of some blackbirds instead. This picture is not meant to resemble any living cloud engineers.

Four and Twenty Blackbirds

Four and Twenty Blackbirds

Four and Twenty Blackbirds

Another Highlight was Jeremy Carroll who reassured us that the pins we pinners pin are copied in triplicate so we can rest assured that they won’t disappear like hot pies left on the windowsill spotted by famished blackbirds (not his exact words). And did you ever stop to think about how many things have to happen after a pin is pinned? Someone has to make the list of other things you might like related to that first pin. Whew. Thinking about it might make you need a piece of pie. By the way, this Four and Twenty Blackbirds Pie Book sounds heavenly, doesn’t it? But I digress.

Pie Before E, Except After C

Pie Before E, Except After C

Pie before E Except After C

Raj Patel, head of cloud engineering at Pinterest, made one of the best points of all in his talk: A Pin Lives Forever. He discussed the half life of other social media posts, emphasizing that pins live on and on and can be rediscovered days, weeks, or months after they’re pinned.

You can't spell Pinterest without PIE

You can’t spell Pinterest without PIE

You can’t spell Pinterest without PIE

Not to rub it in, but Pinterest without the PIE would just be ntrst! Which doesn’t sound very delicious. If you’d like to read about another Pinterest tech talk, here’s my Discover Pinterest: Behind the Scenes.

*I am in no way intending to malign Pinterest: just thought I’d offer them some pie for thought. 

Eight Scary Halloween Characters You Might See on Twitter

Eight Scary Halloween Characters You Might See on Twitter

Eight Scary Halloween Characters You Might See on Twitter

You may have been wandering around some scary parts of Twitter lately, down some dark, lonely hallways late at night. Here’s what you might find during your travels.

Time to let go, Casper

Time to let go, Casper

The Ghost

Is this person really on Twitter? There were a couple of tweets in the beginning, but there hasn’t been a tweet since last October. This person’s account has passed away, but is still occupying space in the Twittersphere. Time to let go, Casper.

It is possible to kill a vampire

It is possible to kill a vampire

The Vampire

This is a character who feeds on the life force of others, stealing content, following everyone you follow, and making you feel like you’ve got a kid brother all over again. They insert themselves into all your conversations and tend to steal your energy. The good news? It is possible to kill one of these guys!

The Zombie

The zombie retweets your material and you never know why. They follow you, but they are really pretty slow. They may retweet stuff from 2 weeks ago, a lifetime on the internet. They are animated, yet they are still corpses. Do not trust them to babysit your children. When they do speak, they talk about “the Zombie Apocalypse” a lot.

The Werewolf tweets very late at night during the full moon

The Werewolf tweets very late at night during the full moon

The Werewolf

This guy only tweets very late at night during the full moon, when they’re very active. Nothing ever happens during the day for the werewolf. And just when you think they’re completely extinct, one of them wakes up during the day and lets out a grumpy tweet. They may want blood or they may want espresso. It’s difficult to say.

Avoid the Bad Witch or Warlock

Avoid the Bad Witch or Warlock

The Bad Witch or Warlock

This character is just plain mean. He or she pokes fun at other people, and never has anything nice to say. They take everything the wrong way. It’s all about the opposite of the law of attraction with the mean witch. It’s best to stay away from mean witches.

The Mummy

All wrapped up in themselves and only ever broadcasting, everything has to revolve around the mummy. It’s as though they have cotton in their ears because they never seem to listen to anyone else. The Mummy could use some ideas on how to be social.

The Troll loves to cause trouble

The Troll loves to cause trouble

The Troll

The only way to stop trolls is to stop caring about them. They feed on your energy, whether positive or negative. Once they are exposed, they may stop their insults. And on Twitter, you can block or mute them (or report them!).

The Skeleton

The skeleton has no substance. You may see bones, but nothing has been fleshed out. No treats for you, Mr. Skeleton! By the way, here’s a fab article about what the skeletons of famous cartoon characters would look like (no cartoon characters were hurt in the making of the article).

And the scariest of all, and they need no introduction….

The Evil Clown (is there any other kind?!

The Evil Clown (is there any other kind?!

The Evil Clown!

He’s got the red nose and gets all up in your business. He won’t take no for an answer! Booo! Now evil clowns could really use some clues on how to be social!

Seen any strange characters around Twitter? Let me know in the comments!

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