A really common misconception, especially among small businesses, is thinking that social media is about sales. People will tell me that one person will tell two people will tell two people, and so on. In their minds, they’re already millionaires–without any “real work.”

Use social media to increase awareness of your brand, connect with people, and for engagement. That’s it. Of course, social media can lead to sales, but chances are it will be an indirect route. You can build trust, and let people know what you’re up to, but trying to sell on social media isn’t usually the aim.

Increase brand awareness

It’s perfectly fine to tell people about your brand. This might include posts about what’s happening behind the scenes, or even what’s on sale, but not direct selling. When is it a good time to increase brand awareness? Some of my clients have started before they even have a product or service to sell. So I’d say the earlier the better. Here’s a post about being on social media for small businesses that you might like. (Hint: you can appear like a bigger business if your social media is good.) If you’re doing a good job, people might even know you from your social media, and have a good impression of your business!

Who does a good job with brand awareness? One excellent account is Wendy’s. And why is their account so terrific? Because they have a personality! Check out this fun tweet from Wendy’s, below. So much personality! And because of their fun, casual style, they get plenty of engagement. So don’t be afraid to show some personality.

Wendy’s breakfast 2 for $4? Oh Yeah! Get 2 sammies just 4 buckaroonies ya lil rascals.

— Wendy’s (@Wendys) July 6, 2021

Connect with people

People will be interested in your brand and what you offer, but it’s important to show an interest in them first. The best way to share others’ posts is if you think your ideal clients will also be interested in what you share on social media. So for example, say you’re posting for a zoo. Sharing information about animals, how to care for pets at home, what not to do with exotic animals, etc., would all be good things to share. Maybe even share posts from zoos in other parts of the country or world. But sharing about a local auto parts store is probably not going to interest your audience.

Engage through active listening

Listen to what your customers have to say. Sometimes there will be a perfect way to sell through your social media *if* you hear of someone needing exactly what you have to offer. A good example of this is plumbing. You may hear someone say they have a leak or broken pipe. If you’re local and can help, then why not offer? But that scenario is rare, to be honest. I really do believe engagement is the gold standard of social media, by the way. I even wrote a book about engagement!

Watching videos on decluttering and Marie Kondo recently, I came across a video by Safiya Nygaard that described the “80/80” rule. She keeps her house organized 80% of the time so that it’s just good enough. And that idea wins the day. And that includes getting rid of perfectionism.

“Perfectionism is the voice of the oppressor, the enemy of the people. It will keep you cramped and insane your whole life, and it is the main obstacle between you and a shitty first draft. I think perfectionism is based on the obsessive belief that if you run carefully enough, hitting each stepping-stone just right, you won’t have to die. The truth is that you will die anyway and that a lot of people who aren’t even looking at their feet are going to do a whole lot better than you, and have a lot more fun while they’re doing it.”
― Anne Lamott, Bird by Bird: Some Instructions on Writing and Life 

High achievers are often perfectionists

Are you a high achiever? I wrote about this type of strength, which may also describe you: What’s Your Best Social Media Super Power? Also: it’s possible to be a high achiever but not a perfectionist. Naturally, you can be a bit of both. The difference between them, though, is that high achievers are usually supportive of other people. And focusing on other people can help you steer away from perfectionism.

Perfectionism is unrealistic

If life looks like an endless report card, you might like this article from Psychology Today ( I love that right at the top there’s a link so you can find a therapist lol!) Do you agree with perfectionism being fear-based? I certainly do, having come from a family which glorified perfectionism. However, if you’re a perfectionist, chances are that you’re not as well liked as you could be. Think about it. When you hear the word perfectionist, does someone you know (and don’t like much) come to mind? Recently we were on a vacation at an AirBnb. The place was immaculate, but there were rules posted everywhere. Keep this window open when you leave. Pull back the covers on the beds if the sheets have been slept in. And there was the Do not touch the blue button! which of course made everyone want to touch the blue button!

Perfectionism leads to stress

If you’re stressed out trying to be perfect, maybe it’s time to drop it for awhile. One thing the pandemic taught me is that I don’t have to do everything. In fact, most people won’t even notice if I don’t do everything. Or if a couple of things drop off my to-do list. Or if my to-do list gets dropped altogether! In fact, taking a vacation or a long siesta seem like better ideas that being a perfectionist.

Recently I was watching a video by a New York City artist, Rajiv Surendra. You may have seen Rajiv in his role in Mean Girls, but it turns out that Rajiv has so many other skills. If you’re thinking of branding or rebranding yourself, you definitely have to watch the YouTube video of his home tour. Google Tour Rajiv Surendra’s NYC Apartment Filled With Handmade Decor to experience it. Here are some of my takeaways and thoughts.

Focus on What You Love

Sure, everybody says focus on what you love. And those are easy words to say. But when you see those words in action they mean so much more. Rajiv Surendra has taken his focus to another level. I suspect that he doesn’t ever binge watch Netflix or own a television. But he does share his thoughts on social media–follow Rajiv Surendra on Instagram to see some of his amazing artwork.

Sometimes a Hobby Becomes a Profession

Maybe this has happened to you, too. Maybe you’ve been redoing chalkboards of major NYC restaurants and decided to turn that into a venture. Ok, I’m kidding, but you know what I mean! What if you went deeper into something you truly loved, so deep that time stopped–for a time–and you realized you were doing what you were meant to do your entire life? It could happen!

Curate Your Existence

If you thought someone was going to examine the details of your life and tour your apartment, would you live differently? Probably. Some people have been doing this on Instagram, curating what they see, what they eat, and how they live. If you haven’t already looked at friend Terri Nakamura’s Instagram, check out what she’s doing over there because it’s fascinating. Hint: Terri is using Instagram as a blogging platform–and writing a book about it!

Worship Marie Kondo Like a Goddess

Another what if: What if you gave away everything that didn’t bring you joy? How would your life and your work look? As Rajiv says he worships Marie Kondo and has taken Marie Kondo’s minimalism to another level so that all his clothes (which are gorgeous and meaningful) all fit into one tiny closet. Another tiny closet fits all his art supplies, including chalk, paint, and easels. If you love Marie Kondo, you might like organizing your social media so you can have a better life.

Let Joy Guide You

Could there be anyone more self-actualized than Rajiv? I don’t think so. And he seems so full of joy. What if joy and having fun could lead you to your life’s work? Recently I wrote about playing more and here it is if you missed it: When You Play More Your Creativity Blooms. Many of us have found joy, even amidst the pandemic. We’ve all been baking banana bread, meeting neighbors, and upgrading our homes.

You’re always running around, fixing this, changing that, keeping everything together. But when does too busy become toxic? One thing I’ve learned from the Pandemic is that I don’t have to get everything done. The earth will continue spinning on its axis, and everything will be pretty much the same the next day. However, if you’re really stuck, here are a few ideas.

Delegate!

Get some of those to-do items off that list by hiring someone else to do them. Or get a friend to do them in exchange for a chocolate cake, which might be your favorite thing to bake. However you do it, get someone else to help. You don’t have to do everything, even if there’s a YouTube video that shows you how. You might like 10 Best Ways to Manage Time on Social Media.

Just say no

Is there anything you could refuse to do? Just take a big black marker and cross it off your list altogether? I’m betting there is. So if you’re doing something out of obligation, stop it! No more silly baby showers for people you barely know.

Procrastinate

Sometimes if you wait long enough to do something, someone else will take care of it for you. I’m thinking of my one friend who doesn’t take in her recycling bins and her neighbors do it for her. She’s probably not doing it on purpose, but any way, that’s how it is. By the way, if you’re trying to avoid something, you might like Seven Myths about Procrastination. And also: managed delay does sound a lot cooler than procrastination, doesn’t it?

Be Lazy

This might sound counter-intuitive, but sometimes you just need to be lazy. Stay in bed a little longer, spend more time dawdling, and use your cat as a mentor. What does your cat do when there’s too much going on? He takes a nap! And what does your cat do to recover from the stress of a nap? Takes another nap! You get the idea.

Stop saying you’re too busy

You know what? You’re not too busy. We’ve all been glorifying the Cult of Busy(tm) to the point where it’s become a mantra we all say. You’ve got time to watch 10 million episodes of Grey’s Anatomy! Oh, wait. That’s me. Anyway, none of us are too busy. We just choose to focus on that. As Kimberly Roush says in Are You Too Busy to Be Less Busy? on Forbes “Busy has become a way of life.”

Busy Much?

If you love saying you’re too busy, maybe practice saying you’re not busy. Watch the strange looks your friends give you. And listen to what they say. Perhaps their next question will be Are you retired? One day you’ll be able to say yes!

Perhaps you can’t kill zombies or do backflips like Simone Biles, but you can probably do something that others can’t do. Maybe you’re super friendly. Maybe you’re good at research. Or maybe you love having conversations with strangers. Have you ever considered focusing on your strengths, rather than building up your weaknesses? You might like this article: How to work your wonderful strengths, forget your weaknesses.

Do you know what your super powers are?

If not, there are many online quizzes you can take. For instance, one really common one is Strengths Finder 2.0. I really like the Ideas for Action in the Strengths Finder book. I’m an “achiever,” so I need to build in celebration and recognition into my life. Because simply achieving all the time makes Jack a dull boy. Or Carol a dull girl. Another is the Myers-Briggs personality test, which divides people into 16 personality types. Of course, neither the Strengths Finder nor the Myers-Briggs personality test is the end-all for knowing about yourself. You may need to journal or seek some other method to find the real you and your super powers.

Don’t hide your super powers

As Bill Garland says in his article Why the Soft Skills Are Hard“Our soft skills reveal who we truly are, how we view the world and our place in it.” If your super power happens to be a soft skill, all the more reason to share it with the world. You may think a soft skill is a liability, but it’s usually a super power! And if you use soft skills on social media, your power quadruples (according to a statistic that I just made up). After all, you need to be social, which is a soft skill as well as a super power.

Super powers make you stand apart

Once you know what your strengths are, you can figure out how to use those strengths. For instance, if your strength is connectedness, you know deep in your soul that everything happens for a reason. And you may be able to help others see what their reasons for connecting are, too. People with this super power can assist people to connect with other people or groups.

Lead with your super powers

If you can bring people to your environment, you’ll be more comfortable. If you excel at face-to-face meetings, that means meeting in real life. If you have a great phone voice, you’ll be more comfortable on a call or perhaps on a Zoom call.

This morning I was reading Shira Ovide’s article about Silicon Valley’s Meh Middle and nodding my head vigorously. Having been a survivor of some of those very meh startups, I understand how often they’re overlooked. Not everyone is a superstar. And not everyone fails miserably, no matter how often people tell us to Fail Forward. A lot of startups, well, they’re right in the middle. And they tend to be forgotten.

Failure and the Meh Middle

Sometimes I think of the meh middle as large airliners that float down slowly. They don’t go down in flames in a Grey’s Anatomy-styled dramatic crash. Neither do they land perfectly. Some startups might land slightly off the runway and slide into the water. And we never hear from them again. We might hear about them when they’re young companies, but later? Nothing. Nada. Zip. By the way, you might like this article about failure: Is Failure Mandatory on the Road to Success?

Where do the Meh Middle companies go?

Those meh middle companies do not go gentle into that good night as Dylan Thomas said. It’s more like they fade away. Their inventory is sold one day and like an old, sad Blockbuster store, they turn into a place that sells Bundt cakes. Maybe there are a couple of employees in the back, working to clean the place up. Maybe there’s just a guy with a shopping cart taking the used laptops out to the trunk of his SUV, hoping to sell them on eBay. And make a few bucks.

Nobody writes about the Meh Middle guys

Can you imagine a movie or novel about the meh middle guys? It would be like one of those performance art pieces where you watch someone sleep for eight hours. Chris Burden and Andy Warhol both actually did that, but that’s a story for another day. I’m not sure that with social media, people have the capacity to watch someone sleep for very long. We can’t stand to be bored for very long, can we? Even ten minutes of watching would be too much! Personally, I’m a big fan of learning from failure. You might like What Happens When You Focus on Failure and Creativity?

Not minnows, but not whales

As Shira Ovide says these meh middlers are not minnows. But they’re not whales either. They’re sort of like those child actors that you remember every once in a while in the shower. But where are they now? Luckily we have Google to help us remember and unearth photos of what they’ve been doing. We may not always have an accurate record of the companies that slide into oblivion, however. Is it too painful to focus on the startups that are neither dramatic successes or crazy failures?

Why should we care?

Like the dramatic failures, there’s gold to discover in the Meh Middle. If we forget what happened, we could repeat history. Because there were moments where something wonderful and good could have happened. And sometimes those in-betweeners turn things around and become glowing successes. Wouldn’t it be worthwhile to have a record of those companies, what went wrong, and what could have been?