What Nikola Tesla Said About the New iPhone Will Blow Your Mind!
We brought Nicola Tesla back from the dead so we could ask him a few questions about the new iPhone. And believe you me, it wasn’t always easy to figure out what he was saying. If you thought he mumbled a lot while he was alive, well, let’s just say that he’s grumpier and tougher to understand now. By the way, if you’d like to read about some other undead characters, you might like Eight Scary Halloween Creatures You Might See on Twitter.
Jet Black Finish
First, the important stuff, like the color!
Us: So, Nicola what do you think about the new finish?
Nicola Tesla: The feeling is constantly growing on me that I had been the first to hear the greeting of one planet to another.
Us: Sounds like you like the jet black finish. Plus, everything goes with black.
Tesla: Mumbles.
Us: We’ve already seen five billboards for the new iPhone 7 in the Bay Area (three in downtown San Francisco alone!). Do you think that’s a good way to advertise?
Tesla: Maybe it’s a little old-fashioned, but since traffic in the Bay Area is so bad, people may see those ads more as long as they’re not texting on their iPhones while stuck in traffic!
Waterproof Feature
Waterproof Feature
While we know beyond a shadow of a doubt (maybe) that Nicola Tesla was not a swim instructor, would he have liked the waterproof feature of the new iPhone? We had to ask him.
Us: So, Nicola, what about the waterproof feature? Do you care about that?
Nicola Tesla: Yah. It’s good.
There you have it!
Lack of Headphone Jack
Lack of Headphone Jack
While most of us (our two friends who both own headphones) like headphones, how about Nicola Tesla? Since he’s here, and back from the dead, let’s ask him.
Us: Nicola–headphone jack or not?
Nicola:I had to wait nineteen years before Niagara was harnessed by my system, fifteen years before the basic inventions for wireless which I gave to the world in 1893 were applied universally.
Do I have to wait another 100 years to see the return of the headphone jack?
Us: So…you’re saying you’d like the headphone jack?
Nicola: Humanity likes headphones. I would like the headphone jack. And I’m a genius. Ask Elon Musk.
Us: Okay. You win.
Non-Clickable Home Button
Non-Clickable Home Button
Us: Nicola, what do you think about the new home button. Hero or zero?
Tesla: Our virtues and our failings are inseparable, like force and matter. When they separate, man is no more.
Us: Sounds like a thumbs down.
Tesla: Right.
Battery Life
Battery Life
We’ve heard that the battery life of the new iPhone needs improvements.
Us: Nicola, would you get the new iPhone since the battery life is so limited?
Tesla: Merciless is the law of nature, and rapidly and irresistibly we are drawn to our doom.
Us: We’re going to put you down as a “no” on this question.
Tesla: Okay.
7
Will You Get the New iPhone 7?
Will you side with Nicola Tesla? Leave me a comment! And thank you.
ha ha ha best line
“Humanity likes headphones. I would like the headphone jack. And I’m a genius. Ask Elon Musk.”
Thanks, Bridget! Don’t we all love headphones? Why doesn’t Apple keep the headphone jack? They didn’t even bother to ask Nikola Tesla!
Ha! Who am I to argue with Nikolai Tesla.
I’m sticking with Android.
Good choice, Clement. I’ve got an older Apple; no need to upgrade yet. Thanks for stopping by!
Carol
LOL! This is incredible. I’m convinced — no iPhone 7 for me!
Can we have ole’ Nikola comment on the presidential election in America next? I’d love to hear his thoughts on Trump, Clinton, and a potential merger, via electricity, of the two candidates into a single candidate — MechaTrinton!
Adam, it was tough to get Nikola Tesla to talk about the iPhone7, but we’ll see what we can do as a follow-up. He’d probably have a lot to say about the election, not all of it safe for work!
I like your idea of merging the two candidates into one electrically charged candidate, using electricity! Now that’s right up Tesla’s alley!
Carol
Ha, fun post Carol. My iPhone 4 died about a year ago. I got an iPhone 6. I’ll keep that until it too dies on me. The iPhone 9 will probably be out by that time so I’ll probably not be getting a 7. ;-)
Hi Patricia,
That’s funny about letting the phones die before getting new ones. There are so many iPhones now it’s hard to even keep track.
Thanks for stopping by!
Carol