We’ve all had to deal with workplace jealousy. Someone else sees what you’re doing and wants to steal your idea, have your success, or simply get to where you are without working at it. Or maybe you’re the jealous one–striving to be like someone else or fuming at someone else’s success? Whichever way it is for you, here are some ideas that may give you a fresh perspective.

Flaws, failures and finger-pointing

When a jealous person sees your success, he or she may point at your flaws and try to highlight them to others, thus undermining your success. He may also try to focus on your failures. This kind of finger pointing never helps to sort out the jealousy of the person who is jealous. While it’s difficult to remain positive when you hear the jealous person belittling you, it’s important to take the high road and not return insults. Eventually, other coworkers may come around to your point of view. I’ve talked about how some social media posts elicit jealousy before in Maslow’s Unbelievably Strange Hierarchy of Social Media Needs.

Workplace jealousy creates a toxic environment

Although you might want to hide your head in the sand when you recognize jealousy, doing so won’t make the problem disappear. In fact, when you pull your head out of the sand, the problem probably will have gotten worse. It’s best to deal with jealousy head on. Indeed has a good article on how to handle workplace jealousy: 8 Tips to Help You Handle Workplace Jealousy. I like this one: “Remain positive at all times, even around jealous coworkers.” Not so easy to do, though, is it?

Belittling others, name calling, and talking behind others’ backs

If someone else is jealous of you, it’s much more difficult to deal with than if you’re the jealous one. But you can start by asking the jealous person what’s going on. Maybe there’s something they need to get off their chest. In her Psychology Today article How to Handle a Jealous Coworker, Kaja Perina says Sometimes, a coworker’s negative behavior toward you may have nothing to do with you or with your work performance. And knowing that can make all the difference.

Moving past jealousy

The best way to move past jealousy, in my opinion, is not to compare yourself to others. There will always be others more or less successful than you. Another way to get through it is to journal. Ask yourself these questions: What is making you jealous? Is the person you’re jealous of honestly doing better than you, or is it imagined? What exactly is it that is bothering you? If you can figure out the answers to these questions, you’ll be closer to getting through the jealousy. And be honest. Maybe you need more skills so you can be like that other person in their career. Maybe there’s a class or two you could take to uplevel your skills.

Have you ever had to deal with jealousy in the workplace? How did you do it?

Recently while researching the topic of seniors and the use of technology for #digiblogchat, a chat that @LazBlazter and I host on Twitter, a number of interesting topics came up. Here are some of the spinoffs from that chat.

Featured Guest Warren Naida

The questions for our recent #digiblogchat are already published, by the way. Our featured guest for the chat was @WarrenLNaida. Since the chat ended, Warren has also published a blog post, which you can find here: We Need to Have a Different Conversation about Seniors and Technology. Warren:”Who is a “senior” and who is not? Our access to technology is dependent on other demographics than age. Usually it’s about money and education. The country and city in which we live. Our schools. Our jobs. Access to the internet.” And if you don’t already know Warren Naida, then you should know that he’s already a successful author, teacher, and SEO expert. By his own admission, he’s not yet eligible for senior discounts in his home country, Germany. But his kid would say he’s ancient!

Jim Katzaman’s Take on the Chat

We are all interested in hearing who gets what from our chats. @JimKatzaman outlined several items, each of which could be a chat all by itself. Jim’s article is here: Seniors Find Tech More to Their Liking in Today’s World. For instance, we talked about cybersecurity, which is an issue for people of all ages, not just seniors (whatever that word means any more). And during the pandemic many people experienced loneliness and isolation. So turning to the use of technology was and still is a great way to meet like-minded people. Virtual Meetups (through Zooms or Facetimes) are just one way people can connect with others, but this requires some ease with technology. During the beginning of the pandemic, we all saw people struggle with new technology on zooms.

Exploring and doing the research for the chat

Before most #digiblogchat chats, I do some research, and this was no exception. A number of people weighed in, as usual (you can see more specific ideas from Jim’s or Warren’s links, above). What I found most interesting was getting to know more about Ashton Applewhite. Applewhite has written a manifesto on ageism called This Chair Rocks. She’s also been been featured on TED Talks. Applewhite makes a number of statements on her website which might surprise you. For instance “People are happiest at the beginnings and the ends of their lives.” And “Only 2.5% of Americans over 65 live in nursing homes.” And while reading about Applewhite, I found an entire mountain of information about aging, such as the website Old School, and their section of Books and Blogs.

Ageism works both ways

Although we might think of ageism as something that only affects older folks, younger people suffer from discrimination, too. Think back to a time when someone told you you were too young for an activity. That might’ve been simply going to an amusement park, but it could also apply to driving a car or operating machinery.