How Nostradamus Predicted Massive Twitter Failure

How Nostradamus Predicted Massive Twitter Failure

How Nostradamus Predicted Massive Twitter Failure

Most of Nostradamus’ predictions covered disasters, such as earthquakes, floods, and droughts. Often he retroactively predicted catastrophes with specific locations or dates. Or so people thought! When reread in 2015, Nostradamus was obviously talking about Twitter the entire time. This is his true gift to mankind.

Let’s take a look at some of those predictions and see what they really mean.

People Will Live To Be 200

People Will Live To Be 200

People Will Live To Be 200

Obviously, Nostradamus meant that tweets will live for 200 years. In the future, your great-great-great grandkids will see your tweets and wonder just what you were thinking. Why so many videos of cats? And why always the headline and the link? What the heck?

The Dead Will Walk And Your Tweets Will Live Forever

The Dead Will Walk And Your Tweets Will Live Forever

The Dead Will Resurrect

That tweet you thought was gone when you deleted it? Not so much. Look at all the politicians deleting tweets before elections (Donald Trump comes to mind). Someone took a screenshot and saved that tweet, though. So be careful what you say, Donald! You can’t fool us!

California Will Have an Enormous Earthquake

California Will Have an Enormous Earthquake

California Will Have an Enormous Earthquake

Yes, we will. And Twitter is in California. Coincidence? No.

Fear the Sugar

Fear the Sugar

The Third AntiChrist Will Appear at the Beginning of the 21st Century

Now, that’s no way to talk about Twitter’s CEO Jack Dorsey. Come on now. He’s been trying to get the stock price up, to make Twitter easier to use, and to explain the benefits of only 140 characters, blah, blah, blah, as CNN Money explains in their article.

Is Twitter Facing Extinction?

Is Twitter Facing Extinction?

The Mayan Armageddon

Nostradamus was trying to say that Twitter was going down. But Twitter is not going anywhere in the down direction in 2015 (or 2012 as some predicted from Nostradamus’ texts). If you’re wondering whether Nostradamus was something of a Debbie Downer, the answer is yes.

The Differences Between Languages Will Disappear

Now people using hashtags all over the place makes me angry as much as the next Social Media Manager. And tweeting from Facebook is plain wrong. We’ve also seen the rise of pins on Twitter and links that go to LinkedIn, as well as Google translate. So maybe Nostradamus was right about this one.

Got a Prophecy About Twitter?

Want to be your own Nostradamus? Leave me a comment! Yes, I’d really like to know what you think!

 

 

 

 

 

Comments

  1. Hilarious!

    You have the best sense of humor!

  2. This is hilarious. Clearly, Nostradamus was far ahead of his time. Clearly.

    • Adam,
      Nostradamus knew a thing or two. Who knows what other events he will retroactively predict in the future? Or is that the past?

      Hmm…need to think now.

      Thanks for stopping by,
      Carol

      • Ugh, sorry I just saw this. I really need to set these things to notify me somehow.

        The past future past is now. And is that future like terminator future that can be edited or like back to the future future where you can become your own father?

        These are the important questions.

        • Adam,

          Willie Nelson said it best: “I’m my own grandpa.”

          And also, this:
          “My wife is now my mother’s mother
          And it makes me blue
          Because, she is my wife
          She’s my grandmother too.”

          We’ve all been there. Well, some of us. Ok, maybe none of us, but we can imagine.

          Thanks for laughing with me and not at me.
          Carol

  3. This is priceless!! Love it 🙂

  4. Seriously, this post is so damn funny

  5. Funny. Love it!

  6. Jim Katzaman says:

    Good old Nostradamus, so predictable, but he knew that.

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