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How Nostradamus Predicted Massive Twitter Failure

Most of Nostradamus’ predictions covered disasters, such as earthquakes, floods, and droughts. Often he retroactively predicted catastrophes with specific locations or dates. Or so people thought! When reread in 2015, Nostradamus was obviously talking about Twitter the entire time. This is his true gift to mankind.

Let’s take a look at some of those predictions and see what they really mean.

People Will Live To Be 200

Obviously, Nostradamus meant that tweets will live for 200 years. In the future, your great-great-great grandkids will see your tweets and wonder just what you were thinking. Why so many videos of cats? And why always the headline and the link? What the heck?

The Dead Will Walk And Your Tweets Will Live Forever

The Dead Will Resurrect

That tweet you thought was gone when you deleted it? Not so much. Look at all the politicians deleting tweets before elections (Donald Trump comes to mind). Someone took a screenshot and saved that tweet, though. So be careful what you say, Donald! You can’t fool us!

California Will Have an Enormous Earthquake

Yes, we will. And Twitter is in California. Coincidence? No.

Fear the Sugar

The Third AntiChrist Will Appear at the Beginning of the 21st Century

Now, that’s no way to talk about Twitter’s CEO Jack Dorsey. Come on now. He’s been trying to get the stock price up, to make Twitter easier to use, and to explain the benefits of only 140 characters, blah, blah, blah, as CNN Money explains in their article.

Is Twitter Facing Extinction?

The Mayan Armageddon

Nostradamus was trying to say that Twitter was going down. But Twitter is not going anywhere in the down direction in 2015 (or 2012 as some predicted from Nostradamus’ texts). If you’re wondering whether Nostradamus was something of a Debbie Downer, the answer is yes.

The Differences Between Languages Will Disappear

Now people using hashtags all over the place makes me angry as much as the next Social Media Manager. And tweeting from Facebook is plain wrong. We’ve also seen the rise of pins on Twitter and links that go to LinkedIn, as well as Google translate. So maybe Nostradamus was right about this one.

Got a Prophecy About Twitter?

Want to be your own Nostradamus? Leave me a comment! Yes, I’d really like to know what you think!