When I was a kid, I looked up to celebrities. There was something magical about their hair, their makeup, and their clothes. I remember being alone, dancing in my room to David Bowie. Sometimes, I would grab a hairbrush (for a mic) and sing along with the Rolling Stones. Sam, our cat, was a willing audience to these outbursts of song and dance. Imagine my dismay when the Beatles broke up. I still can’t believe it’s over!
Breaking Up is Hard to Watch
Miss Piggy and Kermit split up this past year, which was difficult to watch even though they are muppets. What happened to their love? And their ridiculously cute squabbling? Maybe it was never an act at all. And what about Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner? Is nothing sacred? Well, Batman is sacred, but that’s another story, Ben Affleck!
Change is Intolerable!
When change happens, we should pull the blankets over our heads and go back to sleep. Like the proverbial ostrich with its head in the sand, we can ignore changes and pretend they didn’t happen. It’s easy, right? Sure! So long as you don’t read your friends’ Facebook posts, or see anything trending on Twitter!
Get Off My Lawn!
Even though I don’t have a lawn, I’d like to get one just so I could yell that at kids. They don’t belong on my non-existent lawn! Not that there are tons of kids running around where the lawn would be, still it’s troubling to think that they could be. What were they thinking, those imaginary kids?
Ads, Throttling, and Spam
Facebook is doing more targeted ads and throttling who sees posts. Is that right? No! They should’ve kept it the way it was, where people could see everything. Not only that, but Facebook is terrible for you, says Salon. Twitter has become less about engagement and more about spewing ads. Again, it was way better before. Pinterest now has ads, too, whereas in the beginning it was only about pinning interesting pictures of kittens and flowers.
Deny Everything
One thing you can do to avoid change is to deny it exists. The earth is still flat, Elvis lives, and you don’t have to update that software. Then again, if you procrastinate long enough, you might not have to think about it at all.
Coping with Change
Of course, you could learn to cope with change, as this excellent article by Adam Dachis explains. But if you did that, you wouldn’t be able to gripe about it, would you?
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